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The Past | The Previous

The Assassination of Bret Michaels

Jani Lane died.

Who?


The lead singer of Warrant.

I thought that was Bret Michaels?


That was Poison.

Really?


Yeah.

No shit?

I thought Poison was his solo act.


What?

Seriously, have you seen the film clips?

It's like just Bret Michaels doing everything: guitar, drums, bass, guitar, piano, wearing a hat, not wearing a hat.

It was kind of impressive.


Hats?

He had a seriously good hat collection that I envied.


I have never seen you wear a hat.

That doesn't even make sense to me.

Also, y'know, he wasn't the drummer, the guitarist, or the bassist.

Man.

This is disillusioning.


He also wasn't the lead singer of Warrant.

Well, he might be--now that that guy is dead.


True, but Lane hadn't been the singer for a while.

On and off troubles with the band.

You have a lot of information about glam rock, man. Anyone ever said that?


Thank you.

This is--that is not a compliment.


No?

No, man.

I mean, this guy probably died in some shitty hotel room by himself, high off his tits.


No official cause of death has been released.

But it was a hotel room, right?


Yeah.

And he was alone, right?


Yeah.

And let me guess: there was a history of alcohol and drug abuse?


He was a glam rock musician.

You're wasting your life.


And you're helping starving children, I see.

...


...

Can I tell you something?


Sure.

I always thought Bret Michaels feared assassination, which was why he played all the roles in Poison, so as to confuse those that sort to kill him. It was kind of diabolical how he had used a series of hats and hair dyes to ensure that he was always in a different role.


This implies to me that people told you there were four people in the band before.

Oh, yeah, people tell me that all the time.

I just assumed that they were part of the lie.


The Bret Michaels lie?

Yeah, man.


Why would anyone want to kill Bret Michaels?

I just assumed it was the done thing in the 80s.


You just assumed everyone was trying to kill Bret Michaels in the 80s?

Tell me that it doesn't sound believable?


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Comments

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readingthedark
Oct. 5th, 2011 01:41 pm (UTC)
Perhaps we all need something to believe in.

(To the best of my understanding, even Bret Michaels was trying to kill Bret Michaels in the 80s.)
benpeek
Oct. 5th, 2011 02:20 pm (UTC)
yeah, i'd heard the same thing. a lot of those guys from the glam rock bands have the same kind of self destructive history.

probably because of the hair ;)
ataxi
Oct. 6th, 2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
Kind of an awesome post mate.

The 'Cherry Pie' album was one of the first cassettes I owned - the second, in fact. I remember looking at the credits and thinking 'Why does this woman called Jani Lane write all their songs?'
benpeek
Oct. 7th, 2011 12:00 am (UTC)
ta, man

i don't think i ever looked at who wrote the songs way back then. heh.
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