Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek
benpeek

The Assassination of Bret Michaels

Jani Lane died.

Who?


The lead singer of Warrant.

I thought that was Bret Michaels?


That was Poison.

Really?


Yeah.

No shit?

I thought Poison was his solo act.


What?

Seriously, have you seen the film clips?

It's like just Bret Michaels doing everything: guitar, drums, bass, guitar, piano, wearing a hat, not wearing a hat.

It was kind of impressive.


Hats?

He had a seriously good hat collection that I envied.


I have never seen you wear a hat.

That doesn't even make sense to me.

Also, y'know, he wasn't the drummer, the guitarist, or the bassist.

Man.

This is disillusioning.


He also wasn't the lead singer of Warrant.

Well, he might be--now that that guy is dead.


True, but Lane hadn't been the singer for a while.

On and off troubles with the band.

You have a lot of information about glam rock, man. Anyone ever said that?


Thank you.

This is--that is not a compliment.


No?

No, man.

I mean, this guy probably died in some shitty hotel room by himself, high off his tits.


No official cause of death has been released.

But it was a hotel room, right?


Yeah.

And he was alone, right?


Yeah.

And let me guess: there was a history of alcohol and drug abuse?


He was a glam rock musician.

You're wasting your life.


And you're helping starving children, I see.

...


...

Can I tell you something?


Sure.

I always thought Bret Michaels feared assassination, which was why he played all the roles in Poison, so as to confuse those that sort to kill him. It was kind of diabolical how he had used a series of hats and hair dyes to ensure that he was always in a different role.


This implies to me that people told you there were four people in the band before.

Oh, yeah, people tell me that all the time.

I just assumed that they were part of the lie.


The Bret Michaels lie?

Yeah, man.


Why would anyone want to kill Bret Michaels?

I just assumed it was the done thing in the 80s.


You just assumed everyone was trying to kill Bret Michaels in the 80s?

Tell me that it doesn't sound believable?


Tags: dialogue
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