However, before I went, I strolled into the shops to pick up a little gift. This is, according to N., what adults do--and ever since I told her I was sure that you don't need to show up to dinners with anything, only to have the first words of your hosts be, 'Did you bring a drink with you,' I have bowed to her wisdom and done exactly what she told me in regards to this. However, I don't really know a thing about kids, and D., who has recently had his second, filled me in on some stuff I could get. It's a good thing I have my looks to fall back on, isn't it? Anyhow, the truth is, all those toys look the same to me when you're standing in an isle and brightly coloured 'educational' items are staring you down. Does the toy that looks like a tower really do a thing? Will this rag doll really teach a child to read before his or her time? Shit, man, we're all suckers when we're standing there staring at the boxes and trying to think about what is useful to a child days old.
So I bought to the toy that was 'Award Winning'.
Awarded by who, it didn't say. Awarded for what was also absent. But the sticker on the box was gold and it said that it was award winning, and you better believe that it was these words, with a full awareness of the irony, that caused me to pick up the box and buy the toy that was a soft coloured cube.
Well, I thought it was pretty funny, anyway.