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The List (Day 5)

The List

(Day Five)

I got another.


Brittany Murphy.

Heart attack.




Update the List.

This isn't like that Elli Wallach thing, is it?

Look, how many times do I have to say this, I thought I saw a notification of his death. Swear to god.

I just--just hold for a sec while I check this out.





How's work?

Ah, you know, the end of the year. I don't even know why I came in today, it's just abuse.

Just tell them that they can have a place on your list.

I can just see it now, 'I know you rented a car, I know you haven't paid for it, look, do you want to join Eartha Kitt on my list, bitch!'

And, oh, hey, you're right.

Heart attack.

She was 32.

Did you see the bit about a husband not wanting an autopsy?

Yeah. Drugs or something I would say.

It's kinda sad.

She was alright in some of her films.

I dunno. The emotional year kinda peaked for me in March when Andy Hallett died.

The dude from that TV show?

Yeah, Angel. He was so yummy.

See, that's just personal bits. I mean, as sad as its going to be to here myself say this, the year was really defined by Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze and David Carradine.

There were better ones.

Yeah, but come on--the Jackson had a funeral on TV where little boys stood over his coffin and cried.

People forgot all about the child sex stuff and the many, many locks on his bedroom door.

I'm not saying that it wasn't an event. I'm just saying, in the long run, who cared?

I kinda felt something for Swayze. He was so public and seemed so nice and--

And he had a good publicist who used it for one last career revival.

You're such a cynic.

I prefer realist.

But if I had to pick out of some so far, it would be hard to pass up the Canadian singer who was torn apart by coyotes.

Taylor Mitchell.

That was her name.

I still got my doubts about that--like, I thought coyotes were shy and weren't up for attacking hikers on public trails.

Well, she might've done something, who knows. But she was nineteen.

It's the age?

Yeah. Nineteen. You remember what that was like: you thought you know how shit was suppose to work out, how it was all suppose to pull together, and you couldn't for a moment think of all the awful things that would happen.

Like being killed by coyotes.

Like being killed by coyotes, yes.

But there was also Karl Malden.

He wasn't very tragic, though. Just age got to him.

That makes it any less meaningful?

It's not really what I look for. People like Malden don't have spectacle in them.

I mean, I thought JG Ballard dying was terribly sad, because I loved his books, ever since the Drowned World--

And you hassle me for Angel.

--But there wasn't much of an event to it.

David Carradine, however.

The lady boy hooker assassination plot?

Tell me it wasn't awesome?

Lorraine even made those cookies after he died. Guaranteed to Choke You, she called them.





Oh, alright. I admit it. It was awesome!

Dying while masturbating is one thing, but to die while wearing a wig and a dress and to then have your family and friends come out and say that Kung Fu cults have organised it with transexual hookers... there really is no way to top that.

That's the year right there.


Oh, shit, the boss is looking at me. I gotta get going, okay?

Take care, dear. I'll see you Wednesday night for the List meeting.

Be sure to tell the other girls about Brittany!

Will do!



(The 12 Days of Christmas has been going for a while now. Hows my driving? Don't tell me. I think I ran over your dog.)




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Dec. 21st, 2009 08:19 am (UTC)
Possibly you hit a tree. :D

I love the way you're making it topical to prove you didn't pre-write these.
Dec. 21st, 2009 08:23 am (UTC)
a tree?

anyhow, nah, i write them every morning. i have a look for something each day to base it round and go from there. some days work better than others, but, y'know...
Dec. 21st, 2009 01:56 pm (UTC)
I was previously involved in a Dead Pool, and dammit if Elizabeth Taylor isn't still alive! I did manage to pick the Queen Mother - like that one wasn't easy. Courtney Love lived too, much to my surprise.

I like this one.
Dec. 23rd, 2009 12:56 am (UTC)
courney love and elizabeth taylor are survivors, really, unlike that queen mother.
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