What, you come over just to drink my beer?
I should never have started making my own.
That'd be nice if I used apple.
I always thought you used apple.
They're playing in W.A. so we get it prime time.
The West Indies winning?
They looked good until about an hour ago, but it's all Australia now. Ricky Ponting was injured and I did have hope that they would say that he needed to have his arm amputated, but no such luck, since he's out there doing his thing. I was just reading and waiting till the end.
How was work?
But not good naked.
No, sir. It was all kinds of bad naked.
How does a guy working in a supermarket have a bad naked day at work?
That sounds romantic.
Oh, I'm fairly sure it's not me whose in line for a fuckin'.
We caught this dude as he was walking through the story, shoving cans and fruit down his pants. I took him into the back office and confronted him.
Man, this is romantic.
And then off comes his shirt.
All I need to do is insert witty comments, don't I?
Everything was just free balling then.
He stood there in the middle of the office, ugly naked, and screamed, 'I didn't take nothing!' Meanwhile, there's all these cans and shit around him that fell out of his pants, and he is completely oblivious to it. It might as well be like they don't exist.
What'd you do?
I mean, if only he'd been a cute girl.
Because then it would be romantic, right?
And afterwards, when she'd sobered up, she could find you and tell you how understanding you had been, and how she admired you for only taking advantage of her just a little bit, and how it was the best time and the most feminine she had ever felt, and oh, could you marry her and rescue her from this tower she lived in?
Except, you know, when she was drunk and stealing and naked.
I'm thinking of taking up a career in romance writing, it's true.
That's just naked man you can taste.
If I'd known it tasted like apple, maybe I would've had my way with the ugly fuck.
(The 12 Days of Christmas, day six. I wrote this a couple of hours ago, then went and lay on the couch and fell asleep. So I'm not late, it's your imagination. Also, you can thank Cas for this one.)