I got a few.
I'm not going to write a list or anything.
The plot of the first film was that giant robots help you get hot girls.
The plot of the new film isn't even that different. Giant robots help you keep your hot girl. I wish I had a giant robot.
What else are people complaining about?
You have a list with you?
You need a hobby.
As a hobby?
Why don't they just say they're a negative representation of British royalty?
Well, I don't give a shit about this one. There's real issues of racism to be addressed in the world. Turn on the TV, see the white people. Look at the way prose doesn't describe white skin, just leaves it as natural, Steven Spielberg's portrayal of Germans... the green and blue robot twins in Transformers is pretty low on my needs to be addressed list for the representations of race.
What else you got?
Yeah, I laughed there too.
Look, if you stayed after the dog fucking scene, complaining about the giant dangling balls of a giant robot that John Turturro was forced to gaze upon is somewhat redundant.
Okay, okay, that's enough. Gimme that list.
Fine, just what's the point of these complaints? The first Transformers film wasn't art by any means--it just didn't suck, which given the standards of films lately, makes it seem like high fucking art, but it wasn't that at all. It was just this amusing, expensive waste of time about giant robots and a guy who wants a girl. The characterisation was minor, the action scenes nothing special, and the giant robots giant. This one felt the same to me. A lot of money that could've gone towards giving people, I dunno, medicine, or water, or something like that; but it kept me entertained enough and it was what you could expect from a director who made Bad Boys, the Island, and all those other expensive, stupid films he's made. You're getting what you're getting with him so why bother complaining? He's what we made him, and his film is what society has made films into: dumb, expensive pieces of rubbish with giant robot balls bashing together in some eight year olds attempt of humour.
Complaining is useless. Just enjoy the ride. You made it.
Are we even talking about art?
Then I think we should just leave the building.