We start with a bit of cunt and then move on to images.
Ben Peek and the Letter "C"
I will post what I wrote in class in response to the question: Which entry in "Twenty Six Lies/One Truth" have you enjoyed the most so far? I think we may be the only blog group where every member chose the same entry or entries. I chose the entire "C" chapter in general with some emphasis on the seventh entry.
My favorite entry/chapter was definitely the "C" chapter. This is by no means based upon the sheer profanity or the shock factor. I actually found his argument about why the "C-word" is considered so offensive in our society, where as other words are seen as less offensive when they actually might be just as, if not more, profane or demeaning. Speaking from personal experience, I have never used the "C-word" in the presence of a woman, However, I have seen other males do so to disastrous effect. Adversely I've never took much offense to something like "dickhead" which is pretty much a masculine equivilent, so I see his point.
I especially enjoyed the passage from the seventh entry where he argues that females should be offended by the offensiveness of the word, and that some feminists have already made this point. His justification is as follows "If someone was to tell me that my cock was considered the physical manifestation of the foulest word in the English language. I'd be pretty fucking pissed off" I think he makes a pretty good case.
On another note, the eight entry in that chapter is a little bit suspect on a couple of different levels.
So, I feel like we were all told to do this a long time ago, but here goes.
My favorite entry for twenty six lies/one truth would be Kinship. In this entry he talks about his family on Christmas and how his mom is an outsider. He realizes his mom, sister and him are all outsiders because his father died. He understands how unfair his extended family is to his mom, so he stops seeing them. I thought this entry should good insight into his family.
Trying to Understand " Understanding"
I believe that this sketch of what I percieve to be Ben Peek's eyes, is probably showing how he is still deeply affected the death of his girlfriend, G. Also, perhaps that he is regretting turning the wheel to the left, and wishes he had turned it the other way to take his own life as opposed to his own? Its seems like something he would say.
I'm not sure on my whole take on this book, if it's really true or really a lie?
I'm not really sure what to think, all i know is that i really liked reading it because Ben Peek was just really blunt and open about everything. He had the confidence to write and didn't really care what other though or didn't think about what he wrote.
This week, for our assigned blog entries, we had the choice of whether to comment on Ben Peek's journal entries or figure out what the blog entry "UNDERSTANDING" meant to us. Personally, I like analyzing stuff, so I decided to comment on the "UNDERSTANDING" blog.
For those of you who don't know, the "UNDERSTANDING" blog wasn't a written piece but a picture of Ben Peek's eyes (I'm guessing it was Ben's eyes). What I gathered from this picture was that first of all, he's very sad and probably hasn't been getting a lot of sleep because of the bags under his eyes. This picture was most likely made after G died, and was a representation of what Ben was feeling at that time.
Why he titled the blog entry UNDERSTANDING, is a more complicated matter. I think he titled this the way he did because he finally came to the realization that what happened, really happened. In his blog entry,"Urinal. Personal Diary Entry, October 12th" he mentions that whenever he looks into the mirror in the morning and shaves, he hopes that all the bad things that happened to him the night before will all be cut away. I think that the picture in "UNDERSTANDING" is him looking into the mirror after he shaved. He realizes that shaving, this time, will not cut away what happened, and in turn, he understands that she will not be coming back. This is why he's sad in this picture.
The next blog entry "UNDERSTANDING," is another picture of him, but this time, he's in his bed looking next to himself where G probably slept. This is another representation of his understanding that G is gone forever and won't be coming back. Everything that happened to him was real, and he can't take any of it back. Her future was decided for her that night.
In the book, Twenty Six Lies/One Truth, their is a section titled U with two drawings in it entitled Understanding. One picture is a pair of sad lonely eyes and nothing else. The other drawing is of the author, Ben Peek, lying alone in a bed. I think the drawings are a representation of how he felt after his girlfriend died in a car accident which he caused. When I see them I see sadness and emptiness which is understandable after a loved-one has died. Also I can't imagine how I would feel if I were the cause of the death. That is just my take I'm sure you all have a different take on it.
From what I could tell all of the personal diary entries were on October 12 except for first entry of section B when he's talking about writing the book. All of these entries relate in some way to the night that G died, whether it's about how Ben Peek is feeling emotionally, what he is doing, or what actually happened that night.
In all of the entries it seems that he feels guilty about G's death. In section V one of his entries he makes the point of how he is in denial, "I have done nothing wrong. I keep telling myself that.", further emphasizing it again at the end of the section where he states, "I HAVE done nothing wrong."
Overall he is thinking a lot about what happened, and at the end comes to the conclusion that "Nothing you do or say takes back a moment". I think that by this he means that no matter how much he analyzes it he'll never be able to forgive the fact that he turned his side of the car away from the truck (whether he actually did on purpose or not).
I, like Chas, believe the drawing of the eyes are meant to bring out sympathy and an understanding of how Ben Peek felt during his time of loss.
I think it is one thing to read a description of how one feels and then to actually see an image is not only reassuring to his point but also gives me a better sense of his emotion.
Eyes are said to be the looking glass into the soul and it is easy, as humans, to recognize the sorrow that these eyes are portraying. Peek was strongly affected by his loss and it is through his personal diary entries and a series of pictures that help us understand how great his loss was.
And lastly, there was this, from Chas:
My favorite entry from A-M was the Factotum entries. These entries were about the writer Charles Bukowski, who wrote the book Factotum. Peek describes an interveiw in the last Factotum entry, in which Bukowski gets into a fight with his fiance during an interview.
Here it is
Haha as Peek put it best "Bukowski was an asshole. There is no if, maybe, sorta, could've, lets-look-at-this-in-the-parlance-of-our-t
imes statement to add to it." (p.33) So after actually seeing the footage I went looking for more insight as to who Bukowski was and found some amazing quotes and photos to go with them.
“There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit—I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.”
—Ham on Rye, 1982
"Human relationships didn't work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear: cranks, imbeciles, the demented, the vengeful, sadists, killers. Modern society had created its own kind and they feasted on each other. It was a duel to the death...in a cesspool."
I explained to Djae last night that one of my books was being taught somewhere, and he laughed, and told me I had suddenly become avant garde. I think I'm going to reference myself in bios this way from now on.
Well, probably not.
I mean, that'd just be wank, and there are enough wanky author bios out there.