I have a new plan, Cas.
We pull the car over.
In the middle of this goddamn giant fucking freeway, we pull over. It’s only four lines of full traffic to the side of the road, shouldn’t take us less than ten minutes. Maybe less if we’re lucky. I’ll just bully my way through.
Once we reach the edge, we get out of this fucking car.
I’m not finished.
See, once we get out of the car, we use our automobile expertise to take it apart.
Then, from the parts, we use our brilliant minds, and build a time machine.
Thus, once we have assembled our time machine from the parts of this fucking car, we can finally go back in time to yesterday, we can be like that dude from Quantum Leap, except we won’t drop into our own bodies, no; instead, what we’ll do is appear before ourselves just before we walk into the car rental place, mere minutes before we tell the guy at the desk that no, we don’t really need a GPS device.
Whilst screaming, THERE ARE NO MAPS FOR PURCHASE IN LA!
Also, where’d these fucking cars come from?
Shit, there’s sign says to the airport!
We had to go up that ramp.
No, it’s not a prob. I’ll just take the next exit and back track.
It’s only the traffic that makes me feel like I’m from a small, backwards country here.
I’m just going to hang a left off this exit, okay?
Why you want chemist? They don’t sell maps.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t the time for laxatives.
What with us being hopelessly lost and all.
I’m not doctor--
Well, in medical expertise then, I’m sure your fine. I’m sure the absence of pain is part of the normal way these things go.
It’s a good word.
Don’t get fucking pissed at me, man, I’m fucking driving.
Don’t make me drive this fucking car into the walls of Dodger Stadium!
Hey, that is Dodger Stadium.
I was hoping I misread that.
Or, like, the freeway.
If I find a cliff I’m going to drive this car off it.
I think we should ask someone.
When we pass someone, I’m going to stop and ask them.
If you spoke Spanish, it would.
Besides, you had that yelling thing a moment okay.
Car parking lot!
Car parking lot.
People who work in them ought to know where shit is, right?
That would’ve so worked if you spoke Spanish.
Okay, ask this dude.
Okay, lemme drive closer.
Hey, mate, I’m not from around here and I’m bit lost.
Think you could maybe help me out?
Ah, sorry, mate, I only speak English.
Bit of French, if it helps.
Dude on the other side? He speaks English?
Right, sweet, thanks, mate.
I should’ve learnt it.
So many things I need a time machine for.
I don’t try to be Australian.
Hey, mate, hi.
I’m just wondering if you could help me out-I’m not from around here and I’m fucking lost as, you think you could help me?
Just the airport, mate.
So, down this road, hang a left, follow-did you say Hope Street?
Shit, you did say Hope Street.
Okay, then I just got to get on this express lane that’ll take me pretty much through there?
Alright, thanks, mate. I’d offer to have your children if this works out, but, y’know, men--all that birthing bullshit isn’t something we really do.
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Nah, nah, look, Hope Street.
It’ll be all sweet.
Now we just need to find that express lane and we’re fucking gold.
Yeah, it’s a retarded, but--
Anyway, what were you saying earlier, man?
Yeah, I heard.
She said it wasn’t serious.
Heart attacks are kind of serious.
She said it was fine.
I probably would’ve gone back, myself.
Snake Boy, y’know?
But more than that, I reckon he has said the right the words for the moment. He’s told her how he is here for her, how he’d always be here for her, and--
Hey, the express lane.
Yeah, man, I’m with you.
Look, what can you say? You got to have faith, man. You can’t think the moment you’re not there, she goes off and sleeps with Snake.
No, and you can’t definitely think that they filmed it, and you’ll accidentally find it when you return?
And you cannot think that when she does some new and freaky thing that you really dig that she learnt it from him.
And you can’t--
She doesn’t like you.
You can’t see my tears because they’re on the inside.
You can’t talk to her about him loving her, because she just shuts it off, and won’t hear you say a word against him. It’s jealousy if you do. I mean, she used to talk about it, but she just sits there silent until you press it so hard, that she gets angry at you.
Doesn’t it upset you that she hates me?
Though I did think she made a mistake trying to set you up with her friend who has the facial scars and takes baths with her dog.
Or sleeps with.
Neither do I, but cheer the fuck up, man, cause the airport is in front of us.
All we got to do is part this car at the rental place, drop this car off, and find a fucking cab to take us to the hostel.
Now, where can we ditch this car?