Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek

Thanks, Just Thanks

A little information can be a little too much, I've decided.

About five minutes ago, I was talking with Michelle, and telling her about what a fine and admirable product jelly is. I hadn't had it for a while, but I'm a man, and when I feel like aeroplane jelly, I don't hesitate to go out and buy a packet of it. I even know the fucking song:

"Ew, no," Michelle said. "That's very much at the top of Animal Products I Will Not Eat."

"Whatcha talking about." I resisted the urge to say Willis, but only because references to things that make me seem old were already done today. "Jelly is like little bits of crystal. You add hot water. Don't ruin this for me with your knowledge."

But it's too late, of course. Jelly, or gelatin, as we may as well refer to it, is "a protein produced by partial hydrolysis of collagen extracted from the bones, connective tissues, organs, and some intestines of animals such as the domesticated cattle, and horses." Which is just, you know, not appetising. Worse, however, it appears that gummi bears, those cute little things that I (and thus I assume everyone) can't say no to when on offer, are also made from it, meaning that I, and you, and children everywhere, have been snacking on the bones, tissues and organs of domesticated animals. Michelle just referred to them as Hoofy Bears as I wrote this.

Clearly, I need new, less educated friends.

In a slightly amusing moment, however, I hit the wikipedia reference for jelly, and found it had been altered, somewhat:

Jelly may refer to:

This amazing little Spanish slut that is very bitchy in so many ways. Some say that she does almost everything right and a time with her is money spent right. She loves music, horror movies, zombies, vampires, man cheese, rick rolls (only with man cheese of course), cheese on her mashed potatoes, wall-e, sea food, cocking(only when she feels like it), some random kid named kyle, cut things such as wrists, arms, and thighs and the list goes on.

People have stated that she gives amazing blowjobs. She is currently dating this boy named Alan, but the love of her life recently walked back in after putting in a complete dick in her and leaving it. Though he is sorry and wants her backside for good, she loves Alan and wants to try things with him before she tries things with kyle. She isn't secretive about her feelings for Kyle. She is cute and fun in relationships and is pretty easy to get in bed.

Her family consists of a mom, a dad, a cute incestuous brother, a cute puppy, a dartarzan (dildo), a few fish, hermit crabs, and her beaver.

She has the best style and taste.

So I guess the day wasn't an entire loss.

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