You see that?
Yeah, taking photo of a bagel shop. That’s fucking weird.
Dude, we’re in a fucking bagel shop. The only thing here to take photos of is bagels.
Well, I did just purchase a bagel.
I think it’s more realistic that she’s taking a photo of the bagel shop.
Come on, I don’t know who she is. Fucking stranger to me, man.
You’re talking about the train again, aren’t you?
Half the Australians on that train snobbed each other, man. Don’t stress it.
Look I hear you, I was there. Not something I’m going to forget, either. But what you going to do? We’re here three days—I appreciate you coming and all, cause you didn’t have to, but it’s just a pass through. Go see museums and shit and then we’re back in New York.
You can go back, man. It’s not a big deal.
But that dude snobs me again, I’m going to rip him.
Gonna send another man to the hospital, huh?
I’m pacing myself. I got three days of this. By the third day I’m going to be crawling out of my skin trying to get the fuck away from this place. I can’t use up all my hate now, that has to come later so when I leave I do it with a smile.
The internet allows people to pretend they know you. If you had it, you’d realise that.
You know, my grand parents have the net. How is it that people in their nineties see a use for the net, but you don’t?
I mean, Strahan could’ve just ignored you. He could have looked right past you and said hi to me as we sat there. I would’ve laughed at that, but no, he didn’t. He’s got some fucking thing against you, and cause I’m your mate, I must be some kind of scum like you.
The fuck away.
I’ve seen some rude fucks in my time. The other day some dude tried to hold the store up with a needle full of blood, and that’s crazy shit, but it ain’t personal and I don’t hold that against no one, but this—
You’re still haven’t take a shit, have you?
I think it’s messing with your perceptions, man.
Probably should avoid the bagel, then.
Truthfully, it just isn’t worth it.
I wouldn’t want to hurt baby Jesus.
See, when we got off that train last night, you were ready to rip on that dude. You even said it. You said, ‘We got three days, no rush,’ and I thought cool. How hard is it going to be to rip on some fat fuck in a sci fi con? Suddenly I think coming here has an upside.
This whole, it’s all cool, just people, let it go, some non confrontational wank that you got going? No, that’s some dude wussing out, playing the fucking party line, trying to keep everything smooth so he doesn’t rock no boat.
Look, man, I got three days of this. I got to show restraint.
Like you don’t do it. It’s part of being a fucking adult.
What you want me to do, man, start a fucking brawl over some guy guy I don’t know snobbing me? After I kick him in the balls a few times, how do you think that’s going to look?
I bet you won’t.
You’re a regular hero.
But honestly, man, if you let this slide, it’s only cause you’re afraid some shit you probably don’t even have is going to be taken from you.
You’re like a constipated Buddha this morning, aren’t you?
Also, I could build a fucking house with this bagel and a billion like it. It’s just not digestable.
On this, I’m not disagreeing. There’s a grocery store a few blocks back. Wanna get some fruit?
(Cross posted at benpeek.com. Double the comments, double the excitement.)