How's Melbourne working out, then?
The girlfriend and me, we're looking at buying a new house.
That is kind've adult.
I even play golf now.
No shit, man. I have business meetings on a golf course. That message I got a little earlier? Exactly that.
Doesn't your girl already own a house there? Albeit without a golf course, I'm sure.
She does, but it's pretty remote, so we're looking round, seeing what the market is like. We even went to a gated community.
It was kind've weird. All the houses have these building restrictions on them so that they look a certain way. They got to have certain colours on them, for example, which means that if you wanted to build the Star Trek house, or some shit like that, you couldn't do it.
The Star Trek house?
A few years back I read this thing about a guy who'd designed and built his own house in the shape of the Enterprise.
So your dream of Kirk and Spock slash in real life is over now?
The whole house design by committee was kind of insane, and there were other things to count against it, too. The cost was about ten or twenty thousand more to buy a house there than it is to buy one that's out in the wilds of suburbia.
Why the extra?
I imagine it's the golf course—
There was a golf course?
—and the white people.
Yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but you get a bunch of clean cut, well dressed white people living in houses that look the same, and there's a nasty Stepford Wives vibe coming off us.
I never thought I'd say it, but there you go.
You ever wonder if other races got the same comparison?
What, you mean if a black people walk into a gated community full of clean cut, smiling black people they think, Stepford Wives, the Black Version?
That version has Denzel Washington in it.
The white man's black man.
Did you just say word?
Yeah, I'm going to the States in a few weeks, man. I need to work on this shit.
You going to get beaten if you say that.
That's the American experience I want.
You know the girl who was trying to sell us the gated community was American?
I can't believe you even looked around at one. It's kinda fucked up—I mean, living in a place where you can control who comes and goes? Maybe you're too young to get in, maybe you're the wrong colour, maybe you're dressed all wrong...
You really that surprised? Take a lot around. We sink boats that try to come here illegally, we kick out people if they can't contribute the right way, and if you don't have the money... well, who is going to let you in if you don't have money?
There's a depressing thought for the day.
I am here to ruin your sunshine.
Is Phil asleep?
I tell you his Mum committed herself again?
What's that, the third time this year?
Yeah. I saw his report card—he's hardly going to school.
Yeah, fucking complicated adult shit, man. I figure I got to take him—I mean, I want to take him, I do, but his Mum just isn't going to hand him over to me. I need a lawyer for that. And how do I take him from her, when he's all she's got?
I got told, I want to bring him down, there needs to be more commitment.
Dude, the only thing left is—