Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek

Humour in Reviews

Horrorscope is one of my favourite 'news' blogs to read, entirely because of the reviews it runs.

Here's an example from a review of Stephen King's recent novel:

Told in first person, King’s prose in this novel is simple and elegant; in a nutshell, its pure King, pure storytelling. I had the distinct feeling the first draft was composed in longhand. The syntax can be at times cumbersome … but I’ve yet to read a King novel that doesn’t bloat to some extent. In a way, it’s what makes his tomes worth the wait and money. One could almost say it’s what makes them endearing.

Notice that bolding? It's mine, but isn't it wonderful?

I can just see it now, in future gigs where I'm teaching creative writing. I shall start taking a ruler with me, and when a child begins to write on paper first, I shall slap them with it, and say, "Don't! That way leads to cumbersome prose!" I shall stop hitting them only when the tears arrive, for then I shall know that I have done good in the world. Perhaps I shall expand my demands to making sure that no one ever does drafts. Hmm. Yes, I think that's the way. No drafting. Drafting is obviously a ridiculous thing to be doing in fiction. Why write three or four times what you can write once, and off the top of your head, at that?

Why, yes, I think I've solved it. Thank you, Master Tait.

To literature!

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