You talking to me, yeah?
You just walked through the door, dude. Where's my hello?
See, civilization has begun in my living room.
What you in a bad mood for?
You tell her you're the only guy I know who faints at the sight of his own blood?
Probably didn't think of the children who could use your blood, either.
You know I haven't.
If my girlfriend asked me to go, I would.
Which is why I don't give a fuck. But, if I had an accident, I want other peoples blood, and I want it quick fucking smart.
I mean, I might die I don't get it.
The politics of blood isn't good enough?
Can I grab a drink beforehand?
Right then. Start it up.
Despite what you think, Charlie was cool with what I said. She was very understanding. A lot more than my friends have been in the past.
But it was after that that I made my mistake.
What'd you do?
This is the same Snake who is trying to steal your girlfriend, right?
Sounds like a bad choice, man.
See, last week I was standing in one the aisles at work with him. Me and him, we're filling the shelves with dog food, just going along, talking about nothing, pretending like we don't have this thing between us, when two of his friends come up. I'd met them before: they're a couple who're getting married. They're alright. Anyhow, they come up, and they say, “Darren, I'm sorry, we didn't mean to upset you.”
“It's not a big deal,” he replies.
“We had no idea that you and Charlie were together.”
I'm holding a can of dog food and thinking do I hit him with it now? Is that what I'm allowed to do now? Instead, he says, very quickly, “No, no, that's not true. You must've misunderstood. Charlie and me aren't going out.”
The girl in the couple says, “Then why did you want her name on the invitation?”
Get the fuck out.
What'd you do after that?
Should've talked to the couple.
Thinking, I don't have to take this shit, you know? I can get my own back at him, if I want. I can fuck with him. I know a lot about the dude. We used to be friends. I know that he faints at the sight of blood, just like me, for example.
So you tell your girlfriend to ask him so he says no?
I tell her to ask him because I know he'll say yes.
That's—that's kinda diabolical, playing the dude like that.
That is so cool.
You are now my new personal hero, it's that cool.
You going to tell her?
I got news for you, man: you're not in a healthy relationship.
Aw. Come on, think about the poor guy, lying there, in hospital, knowing you sent him to give blood, knowing that you played him, and he looks like a retard...