Here's a game: pick an Australian cricketer who isn't punchable.
Yeah, like, when you see them on screen you don't think to yourself, "There's nothing wrong that a punch to the face wouldn't fix with you."
There's not, like, one of them, mate. I kinda hate them all. I never realised that.
You know who's the worse?
This is the problem with the Australian team. I mean, if you go out on the street, you have to struggle to find someone who likes this team. It's not like we're not talking a team of losers here, we're talking a team that dominates the world scene, and has done for years. They are the standard and no one meets the fuck up. But--but, y'know, you walk out this door, man, you find some people on the street, mate, and there's a good chance they don't like the team personally.
Maybe if we write them a letter.
"Dear Australian Cricket,
I have noticed that your team is tremendously punchable.
I believe this incredible dislike I feel for your team is based off their smug, uncharitable nature of the people in your team. For a tidy sum, I could help this. I could make them good, laid back men who don't date women that all look the same.
Non-Cricket Fan in Front of TV."