Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek

  • Mood:

I Doubt I Can Make Her Pay, But These Neighbours Give Me The Shits Anyway.


Yeah, hi.

You have a party here last night?

We had prayers.


It was a religious prayer night.

I don't really care.

Seems, however, that one of your prayer buddies has run over my water metre and broken it.

You might be able to hear the spraying?

I don't know what you're talking about.

My water metre is broken.

Guy from next door tells me one of the people from your party last night ran over it.

Oh, I don't know about that. There was fifty people here last night.

Yeah, well, I don't care. What I'm telling you is that I have to get someone out to fix this now, and that's going to cost me money, and that bill is yours.

You can't make me pay it.

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

I didn't--

Look, I don't think this is true. We're neighbours. If I saw your water main broken, I'd tell you.

A neighbour did tell me.

And--let me have a look here.




Well. If you were. If you were an educated man of any kind--

If I were educated man?

Yes. If you were educated in any way.

This'll be good.

If you were an educated man in any way, you would realise you're being quite ridiculous to blame me. My water main is not far from yours, and anyone who drove over yours would drive over mine--

I could drive my car over yours and mine quite separately, right now.

And added to that, why would someone drive on the sidewalk like that? An educated man would see that that didn't make sense.

Still with the educated man stuff.

Well, if you were--

In experience people are stupid in all kinds of ways.

I will ring the people from last night--there was a lot of them, and they were all adults, no children, and I will ring and I will ask, who did this silly thing? Who did?

You do that. You can give them the bill if you want.

You can't blame me.

That's exactly what I'm doing. It was your party, your people. You told me about it at the time, this might have gone different. Mightn't have gotten woken up by my neighbour to tell me about it. Mightn't have decided you deserved a bill. Shit happens, y'know?

Look--I will, I will call them.

You do that.

Yes, I will. I can't continue this conversation. I'm sick. I've been very ill.

You look hung over.



I have to go now.

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