Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek
benpeek

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Transformers: The Message Within



I finally figured out what Transformers was about.

Giant transforming robots?


Dude.

I'm talking about the message of the film.

All sentient life deserves to live and not be squashed by giant robots?


Dude.

What?


Did we even watch the same fucking film?

Apparently not.

You're not going to tell me it was pro-democratic, pro-military, and pro-Bush, are you?


...

Well?


What am, like a fucking retard?

Mentally disabled, please.


You and your fucking political correctness. Do you--

It's better than being fucking impolite.


--Do you want to hear what the film is about?

...


Well?

I'm thinking.

This might be a kinda fucked up insight. Like the original Predator being soft core gay porn.

Okay.

Okay.

Hit me.


Giant robots help you pick up girls.

Giant--


Giant robots help you pick up girls.

Wow.


It's pretty fucking amazing, isn't it?

You came up with this all by yourself, did you?


After the third viewing, it just kinda hit me.

Third?


I was just kinda watching. I was thinking, how does that weedy fucking kid get the girl? I mean, what's he got? He's got fucking nothing. I'm as good looking as him, yet I'm single, but what's he got?

A script?


A robot.

How about Michael Bay?


You're not paying attention.

See, until he gets robots, he can't pick up that girl. But he gets robots that turn into cars, and suddenly, she's holding his hand, getting involved in fucking battles, they're making out--and, and thing here, is the film is telling you, that if you want to pick up a girl, you need a giant fucking robot to help you get through the awkward stages.

A giant fucking robot will help you pick up girls?


That's the message of the film.

Is that why we're standing in an electronics store?


No, man.

Oh.


It's just fucking film. I'm not going to try and make my own fucking robot that transforms.

That'd be fucking retarded.

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