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Because Zombies Are Allegorical

You've really messed things up.

Urrrghh.


No, seriously. We were like--

Arghhh.


--like--

--almost, maybe, sorta--

Brains?


Dating.

Almost dating.

Urrggh.


I don't think you fully understand the problem here.

It's hard to find girls.

Braaaains.


Like, rational girls. Sane girls. It's hard to find them.

Arrrrgghh.


Don't breath on me with your dead people breath. Besides, it's true. I'm like a fucking magnet for the crazy.

Urghhh.


I don't want to be introspective.

I mean, sure, some of it is my fault. I'm not exactly poster boy normality. But in the last two years, I've had quite a run--

Brains. Brains. Brains.


Okay. Point taken. Maybe I do have to think about the kind of girls who interest me a little more. But--and this is the important part here you foul smelling piece of shit--

Urgh?


You do smell.

Braaains.


If only.

My point is, I liked her. That girl there. That girl in front of us. I really, really liked her. We were going places. Seeing things. We hated the same things. There was lots of close body contact. I might have been able to kiss her.

She was funny. She laughed at my fucking jokes, for fucks sake!

She even agreed to come over here today and help me move this shit of yours out...

Fuck, but she was beautiful.

Arrgggh.


You ate her.

Braaaaaaaaains!


Rattle all you like, Dad. The chains stay on. You've got to earn back my trust.






Link for Zombie Day.

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Comments

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(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Jun. 14th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
it's funny cause it's true ;)
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Jun. 14th, 2007 02:57 am (UTC)
i'm always much funnier when you're drunk :)
ironed_orchid
Jun. 14th, 2007 08:55 am (UTC)
Perfect.

Although, in the spirit of giving unasked for psychological advice over the internets, I really think that maybe you need to stop blaming your dead father for all your intimacy issues.
benpeek
Jun. 14th, 2007 09:48 am (UTC)
lol.
benpeek
Jun. 14th, 2007 09:49 am (UTC)
and, like, never!
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