Razors - When I began shaving I was maybe 12, 13. I used those cheap disposable, one blade razors. You could buy a pack of ten for five bucks, or something ridiculous like that. I never shaved that much as a teenager, though; I was one of those long haired, bearded, band t-shirts, ripped jeans, and flannelette grunge types. Uni-bomber shacks, pub bands, or cults were my future. Eventually, though, my hair began to recede--and when I say eventually I mean, like, at 17--and by the time I was nineteen, I was shaving my head and trying to find a way to step outside fashion, trends, and being a walking advertisement. In an attempt to shave as much as possible, I bought a two blade razor, which may or may not have been advertised as revolutionary at the time. I used a kind like that until C, who works for Coles, was given a complimentary razor with three blades and a battery powered motor. A vibrator to cut yourself with, was the joke. At the time there were commercials telling the world how revolutionary it was. The vibrating function was pretty useless, though, especially when shaving my head, but free is free. This week, however, I went to buy new blades for it, but couldn't find it, and ended up buying a razor with four blades on it. I don't watch much TV anymore, but I suspect at one stage, someone said it was revolutionary. It's not too bad, actually, and I didn't buy the vibrating version.

Still.

Every time I pick it up I pause.

I look at it. It has a nice weight. But I stare at it. I think: How long until twenty blades? How long until they start to look lie--



--the Eyeball Kid.