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The Past | The Previous

The Scorpion King.

i've seen the Scorpion King.

i saw it a long time ago, but it was shit.

not just a little shit, like the Mummy or the Mummy Returns, which had serious problems. (however, i maintain, that if you skip the first five minutes of the Mummy, it's an amazingly better film in which the plot unfolds the mystery of the ancient mummy, rather that simply repeat what you know from the start.) one of the problems, however, with the Scorpion King was that the somewhat evil warrior from the second film who gets turned into a monster, is nowhere to be found, and instead we have this nice, jolly, hacking assassin who rescues people and then is so liked by people (and the attractive psychic lady) that he takes over the kingdom.

and that's nothing compared to the shitness of the dialogue, the sets, the acting, the fights, and anything else i can think of.

the camel was shit too.

it wasn't the worse film i ever saw, certainly, and i even enjoyed some of that shitness at times (especially when it looked like i wasn't going to be able to self combust half way through it) but it certainly was a shit film.

Comments

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(Anonymous)
Feb. 24th, 2003 04:39 pm (UTC)
Yeah and what ever happened to UGLY HAG LIKE psychics and witches. Now they all have to be bee-yootifull ladies! I guess that economises - two plot devices in just one paycheck and one creative (and I use the term generously) process.

I mean I recently resaw Hercules (the disney version) and the 3 fates were the ugliest and most entertaining see-ers into the future that I can recall.

AND did you know that that EXACT sub plot (the one with the psychic who loses her power if she sleeps with the hero - and she does and then the bad guy threatens her with a test) comes straight out of a VERY BAD Bond movie. One with Roger Moore and Haiitians running about talking voodoo mojo blah blah blah. And the fact that in the scorpion king she says she doesn't lose her powers doesn't change the fact that they stole that plot straight from 007.

Besides if The Rock overtook your comfy kingdom whilst at the same time taking a liking to your ass would you admit to not being able to see the future anymore?
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