I walked into work this morning: first class, year six. Right. Fine. Wake up. I walk through the door and the first thing, the first fucking thing, said to me is by a girl, who is eleven, and she says, "Sir! I know what a Sixty-Nine is! My brother told me! I also know what a Tea Bag is! Do you know?"

"A Tea Bag?"

"It's when a girl sucks on a guy's balls!"

"Oh. They have a name for that now. How nice." Then, as an after thought, "It doesn't have to be a girl."

Naturally, after that calmed down, the rest of the class wanted to know what a Sixty-Nine was. So I told them to write the number, on its side. The circles are heads, I added. It was apparently that kind of day. Rest assured, your children are learning with me.