Now, you hear that kind of stuff all the time. Polls have been run and polls say. Except, I've never been polled about how the country is going. Neither have I ever met someone who has been polled about this. As far as I know, every one of my friends is existing outside this poll demographic that sits around, and assures everyone that John Howard is doing a bang up job, yes sir.
Well, enough of that. I have created my own poll about Australian Nation Security. You should take part. You should have your friends take part. It's a totally unbiased and even handed poll, as only I could make, and let me tell you, it will tell us what's right and wrong with this country.
Do You Trust John Howard (Indeed, the Entire Ruling Coalition) In the Matter of National Security
Yes. Those Fucking Towel Heads Are A Threat (And I'm an Idiot)
No. I Would Also Like To Complain, Unrelated to This, That I Just Paid A Dollar Thirty For Petrol. The Government Is Rumoured To Be Making Fifty Centres A Litre In Tax Off This. Now Food In Supermarkets Is Going Up Due To This. Please Help Me.
No. I Thought We Were Invading A Country Because George Bush Sucked Off John Howard. By the Way, Isn't That Cause for Impeachment In the States?
Yes. I Trust George Bush Fully. Who Is This John Howard You Talk Of?
No. And, I Would Like To Add That I Have Never Heard From My Local Politician, And Never Seen John Howard in Person.
Maybe. I Feel As Safe As I Did Before Invading Iraq. But If We Didn't Invade Iraq, Would I Feel Safe Still? (Have You Seen My Home Loan Documents?)
No. But What Does It Matter? Our Democracy Is A Joke.
Yes. I Am Afraid to Leave the House at All Times. My Friends Tell Me I Should See a Doctor. Or They Would, If I Had Friends. Instead, I Have Recorded Messages of John Howard Panting. I Get Warm and Fuzzy When I Hear Them.
I Am Not Australian And I Do Not Know Who John Howard Is. I Wasn't Aware Australia Was Under Threat, As I Thought You Were All Simply My Holiday Destination.
I Am Not Australian And I Have Forgotten What It Means to Feel Safe.