You notice it, at first, when the tiny brown boxes begin appearing in the mail. They're not addressed to anyone, but they make you uncomfortable. It gets worse when you notice the rash. Then you wake up cough, coughing so hard you think you've dislodged something very important and irreplaceable from within your chest.
That's when you know it's ended. You should then chop up your love and put him or her or it into the box and bury it in the backyard. A cream will cure the rash.
From the Ben Peek Show.