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The Terror Alert Hotline: Monday.

I rang and informed on my neighbours today.

It's not because I dislike them, but they are suspicious looking. Wearing those weird, tacky clothes, letting strange spices burst from their house, and the giant satellite dish upon the roof of their house. What kind of an honest person needs a giant dish from which they can receive from and broadcast at any country they want? It's wrong, when you stop and think about it, because there are clearly countries people shouldn't be having anything to do with.

I said as much to the Terror Alert Hotline Person in their muffled, electronically hidden voice. In response, it said, "So you think they're calling Iraq?"

"Well," I said, "it's possible. But I'm more worried about American ties, myself."

They will be coming for the neighbours soon, to take them away and to pull down the giant M that punches up into the sky.