From Blog in Space: At approximately 3:05 p.m. on the late afternoon of December 5, 2005 at North Latitude of 28* 23' 18" and West Longitude of 80* 36' 18" traveling at a direction of Azimuth 200 degrees at an elevation of 65 degrees on a 5945 MHz frequency, your message was beamed into deep space.

Ben: Yeah, that's what I need right now. First Contact cause the aliens got a message explaining that I was fucking up my life and they got curious. Lovely. I should just never have signed up this blog to be beamed into space--I knew it was a bad idea from the get go--

Imaginary Jesus: I know as well.

Ben: Jesus.

Imaginary Jesus: Imaginary Jesus.

Ben: Fuck me. This is just healthy, isn't it? I'm having conversations with a Jesus I can't even pretend is real. Fucking lovely. Man, if you had been tangible, like a bit of toast or something, I could have at least sold you on ebay to idiots.

Imaginary Jesus: Sorry. You know what I represent, don't you?

Ben: That my blog's psychically fragmented and the aliens can't be far behind?

Imaginary Jesus: They're bringing porn.

Ben: Great. Imaginary Jesus and some free loading aliens with their alien porn.

Imaginary Jesus: Good times ahead, yes?