Ben Peek (benpeek) wrote,
Ben Peek
benpeek

Secrets and Horrors and Liquor with the Violent Femmes

Usually I put this behind a friendslock, because it's just blog spam. But it makes me laugh, and I really, truly, do apologise to everyone caught up in it... and obviously, I feel that simply apologising is enough. If it's any help, I come off much worse.

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet shadowsandice?

Here's the honest truth: strip joint.

I had stumbled in there, looking for a bookstore, I believe. It was one of the clean Christian bookstores. And anyhow, I got lost, took the wrong turn, something like that, and I ended up in this bar. Except it wasn't this bar--wasn't just a bar. It was a strip joint. Pink Bits of Ladies. Tess said, "You got a twenty on you?"

"Sure," I replied.

2.~What would you do if you had never met llbatt?

I think I'd be sober. Being around Lee makes you drink. Lord knows, it makes me drink. Drink so much. God,I must go through a bottle Jack Daniels just to be able to watch him wear those pants... Here's a hint: they're too small and much, much too transparent and have you ever heard of shaving your bikini like? Like I said, I drink. I'm drinking right now. He sent me pictures again.

3.~What do you honestly think of mariness?

I think she makes a fine Captain of a Submarine.

4.~Would or did 3lm and caligatia go out?

That's a pretty dumb fucking question. Why you fucking looking at me like that? Fuck off! I've got the video!

5.~Have you ever liked zarabee?

...Who?

Oh, that other video.

That was a bit off for me, man. I swear I never got off on her kinda shit. Not once.

6.~If deborahb died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?

That I didn't let Zara touch your corpse.

7.~Would treehouseman and lonewolf23 make a good couple?

I think anyone would make the right couple, if they had enough time. It's all about caring, man. It's about penis' too, but mainly, but it's about keeping them clean not going out and--and--and letting people convince you to take home corpses.

You just say no to that shit and you'll be a fucking fine couple.

8.~Describe jack_ryder in 3 words:

Quote: "Get 'em before they go cold."

...Shit, that's more'n three, isn't? I think me bottle's empty.

9.~Do you think joey_j0jo is hot?

Totally hot. Just last week, someone thought we were dating. It wasn't too good for her, but fuck, I felt like I was a real man again.

10.~Would deborahb and chrisbarnes make a lovely couple?

Is Deb dead? Did we cover that. Cause that makes a difference.

11.~What do you think of when you see caligatia?

Liquor.

12.~Tell me something humiliating about lonewolf23:

No! Gimme liquor! Gimme! I ain't goin' to tell you shit about that fucker less give me more liquor! I got photos of that cunt in g-strings and twenties and skin!

13.~Do you know any of kylaw's family members?

Not conversationally.

14.~What's shadowsandice's favorite color?

My hand's shaking. Could you pour that for me, mate? Thanks. Tess. Colour. It's red. Don't let her tell ya no difference. It's red.

Always red.

15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is ashamel?

I--I ain't like that. He ain't my type. Refill?

16.~What would you do if shadowsandice just professed their undying love for you?

We 'ave a good pay customer relationship. It would complicate things. Plus, she--she doesn't Bob Dylan. Do you know what it's like when a woman don't like Bob Dylan?

It makes life difficult.

17.~What language does 3lm speak?

Fucked if I know. That's a funny badge you're wearing there. Ain't like none I seen before.

18.~Who is benpayne going out with?

I don't know much about Payne. Well, I heard, you know, heard bout them children... but I hear a lot. Take what I hear about Grant Watson.

19.~Is angriest a boy or a girl?

Exactly.

20.~Would capnoblivious and shadowsandice make a good couple?

She's mine!

What did I fucking tell you!

Don't make me fucking glass you you retard!

21.~Who do you think reni_0629 would be great with from this list?

I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm fucking calm. She's a fine woman. She'd be good for anyone. Look, I'm sorry about that threat... I didn't mean it. I never hurt no one. But, my drink--I broke my bottle. My bottle's broke.

22.~When was the last time you talked to joey_j0jo?

The other night. What about my bottle?

23.~What is zarabee's favorite band?

I don't she's a music person. You can tell. She--she hates Bob Dylan, too. No, not to the top. Me hand's shaking.

24.~Does treehouseman have any siblings?

Just that one doing time.

25.~Would you ever date kylaw?

I'm a bit--bit too drunk and alive for that, mate. Maybe I should have some bread.

I don't know what I'm saying no more.

26.~Would you ever date jack_ryder?

I ain't drunk enough for that.

27.~Is reni_0629 single?

It's complicated.

28.~What is shadowsandice's last name?

Kum.

You think I'm making that up, don't you, mate? No, I ain't laughing at you. Well. Maybe I'm just fucking with you. What's your name again?

29.~What is capnoblivious's middle name?

Fucked if I know. Starts with an M.

30~What is mariness's fantasy?

I ain't got the guts to ask. You didn't tell me your name.

31.~Where does angriest live?

I ain't saying shit till you tell me your name.

32.~Would you make out with shadowsandice?

I told you: we got a business relationship.

Now--who the fuck are you?

33.~Are llbatt and kylaw best friends?

Fuck are you?!

34.~Does jack_ryder like shadowsandice?

You're not the law. You just some fucking dude? Why you got an interest in these people. These people just normal people. Nothing odd. All normal.

35.~How did you meet capnoblivious?

I don't like these questions, man. They depressing me. Making me think I did something wrong.

36.~Is joey_j0jo older than you?

You leave her outta this. You understand that? Time for you to go. Thanks for the drink and everything, but we're done.

37.~Is chrisbarnes the sexiest person alive?

You jus--

Hey, what you doing with that?

No!

Don't!

I don't wanna be ea--
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