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The Past | The Previous

Fuck Lost.

Fuck Lost.

I'm cutting that show out of my life. It's gone. Boom. Done. No more. It's the only serial I've been watching regularly, but that's it. There's nothing I'm going to watch on the box on a weekly basis, until South Park returns. Which'll be good, on one level, because I won't have to see that Blue Frog, but... well, I'm not quite sure what the bad is. Hopefully I won't become one of those people who tells everyone how great it is not to have a TV, because you know, there's nothing quite like chopping a communication tool out of your life to keep in touch with things.* At any rate, Lost last night was just such an insult on my intelligence that I just can't take it no more.

Fuck Lost I say.

Fuck it good and hard like the cheap whore it is.

I was at this point a couple of months ago, but I was told that I should stick around because people start getting tortured, they split the camp up, and other promises of nasty delight. I said, "But the hunter guy is stupid--how's he walking around like that? And the junkie gave up his junk in a couple of days! And what's with all the fucking cliches disguised as characters? And why--why is it when they need a trait like a builder, one of the characters suddenly says, 'Oh, hey, over here. I'm a builder. Yo. Me. Build.' It's gotten to the point that when they need an astronaut to fly them off the island on the space shuttle they build out of coconuts and palm trees, one of the characters we haven't met is going to suddenly reveal that he spent time in Russian cosmonaut training!"

It could happen. Just imagine the back flashes as they place our lost cosmonaut in Sydney.**

But what really grates on my nerves are the cheap, pathetic tricks they pull out to stop you learning anything about the island. The island is the only good thing they've got going for them, and yet we're stuck learning about these characters who can't die quick enough for me. (Kill Boone now. I can't wait. Kill him now. And don't even let me get started on the dream episode where he's fucking his not real sister and she dies but oh my doesn't really die. What a toss. I want real death and real incest.)

Last night's episode saw the return of the ridiculously pregnant Claire and her soon to be born evil baby. Naturally, the I-look-like-a-computer-geek-but-I'm-a-stone-cold-killer Ethan returned, and blah blah, they ambush him. They capture him and he looks at the modern glock pistols like he knows what they are and I think, great, we're finally going to get down to some torturing of the real kind and some information about the island.***

But no.

They don't want to tell you anything about their island because that would mean, I dunno, not dragging this thing out for ten years. So instead they have the Hobbit turned rockstar turned recovering junkie (ha!) shoot him.

In the rain and mud Charlie just picks up the fallen gun he's never used and while four people stand in front of the bad guy, he blows the mr villain away. All the bullets, I add, are centred in the chest just like recovering junkies who don't shoot guns always do.

Which means, of course, the episode was completely pointless, like pretty much every episode outside the first couple and that one with the kid who thinks of polar bears and they appear. (My only hope is that the whole island is a deranged fantasy of the little boy, because, frankly, with these characters, it feels like the whole show as been created by the over active imagination of a ten year old.) The Charlie killing episode was the kind of episode where you realised you just wasted your hour of life, and that this was the future of Lost, watching as they string you along with the tiny little hints of something that add up to nothing because they never lay ground work for you to follow through. Take the hatch for example. The hatch being kept a secret for no real reason other than it means that the show doesn't have to address it. (Like the big monster the characters see but the audience don't.) Will the final image of the series be some of the survivors climbing down the hole in the ground, thus suggesting that you have to come back next season to learn what was there (which you'll learn in back flashes, no doubt)? Well, last episode showed in the States a few weeks back, so you tell me.

So, I'm done with Lost. I'm surprised I lasted this long, really.




* That'll be kinda impossible anyway, since I'm not tossing my TV out the window or giving it to some bum so he can light a fire in it.

** And the back flashes are driving me insane. Is there really a point for this gimmick now?

*** Was it too much to go back for the crazy French woman? I know, I know, she's crazy, but there's over forty of them, so it should be enough to take her. They could even torture her for information, like she tortured the kind Iraqi soldier with a British accent who knows killing is bad because he worked for a corrupt dictatorship that ordered him to kill girls he had a crush on.

Comments

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benpeek
Jun. 3rd, 2005 10:13 am (UTC)
that's cause you packed it up in preperation for you move, yes?

;)
girliejones
Jun. 3rd, 2005 08:06 am (UTC)
It sounds like you need a hug. Well, actually it sounds like you want your life back, but I can't give you that. I might be close to giving up Lost too.

I just figure the longer you wait for it, the less you're going to enjoy it. Its probably a plot that would have worked well as a short story. And yeah there are only a couple of options for how this is gonna go. Lets face it, this is for a mainstream audience and we all watched how they watered down the XFiles till there was no paranornal left. The best we can hope for for an ending is they all wake up from this crazed, bizarre smoke induced shared dream on the plane that almost crashes but doesn't. Or the little kid wakes up and goes to school.
benpeek
Jun. 3rd, 2005 10:15 am (UTC)
i figure it's the kind of show that would have worked well if it had been one season, with a definate end. so all the secrets came out in one season, everything was resolved, all that. but the open endedness means that they have to keep their secrets, which mostly likely aren't that interesting at all.
angriest
Jun. 4th, 2005 10:28 am (UTC)
Which version of The X Files did you watch? It was all paranormal for me, just an increasingly crappy variety of paranormal.
girliejones
Jun. 5th, 2005 03:04 am (UTC)
I watched the one where really interesting plots got boringly explained away and then the metaplot got so twisted in on itself that nothing made sense by the end.
treehouseman
Jun. 3rd, 2005 12:59 pm (UTC)
You have to watch it all in one stretch. Otherwise it's just a FRIKKIN pain. It would be worth waiting for the DVDs (like opther ensemble shows with far too many storylines, it takes forever to wrap-up if you watch one week at a time). I aquired mine from the States, nefariously. I'd have dropped it if it wasn't there for me every night of the week for the past couple of months.

God,when is this country gonna get TiVo?
benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 04:39 am (UTC)
i don't dig tv enough that i'd spend time acquiring it through friends in the states, and i'm certainly not tossing in for cash on this series. it's just badly written--that's the only explanation for dream episodes and cop out ends.
ex_benpayne119
Jun. 4th, 2005 01:01 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm still watching it, but gritting my teeth and losing interest fast. The ending of this week's episode was definitely a cop-out of the biggest magnitude, perhaps irritating me even more than the "it was all a dream" effort...

It's almost like the show has become a postmodern parody of itself, where there's no suggestion that it's a real show, it's just this game where the producers pretend they're going to finally advance the plot in some way but then use some kind of trickery to weasel out of it...

it's all like "how do we write this so that it appears to be moving forward while in actual fact we're remaining completely stationary?"...

grrr, arrgh...

benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 04:41 am (UTC)
after it's a dream, i was on the verge of walking out. the boy who makes things happened was a brief stop of interest, but i can't handle this no more. it's just bad writing.
chrisbarnes
Jun. 4th, 2005 01:26 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm losing a bit of interest in it too... I used to look forward to each episode but now its dragging a bit.

You're right about the big invisible monster... several characters have seen it now, and it always feels like the sort of POV violation that we as writers rightly get slammed for.. we're put in the character's head, running away, ohmygod there's something behind me, oh there it is it's scary - then suddenly we're (apparently) in the monster's head looking down at them, but of course we know nothing about the monster, so it really pulls me out of the story. It's OK the first one or two times, but just starts feeling like a cheap trick after that.

And yes, why do screen characters always handle guns so skilfully? (Unless Charlie turns out to have yet another secret history of being a cop or something.) I was a target pistol shooter for 12 years and trust me, a newbie doesn't pick up a 9mm pistol and empty the magazine into a 4-inch group while under stress, not even at close range. Just doesn't happen. If Charlie had managed to land one shot out of five on Ethan and acccidentally hit a couple of bystanders as well, THAT would be realistic.
benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 05:05 am (UTC)
yeah, it's totally bad writing now. the dream episode (masked as the equally cliched jungle drugs show you what makes you weak episode) should have been the end, but... well, it'll be this.

i've fired pistols and rifles all through my childhood. i know what you can't do in the wet with four people around and when you're stressed and holding a muddy gun.
ironed_orchid
Jun. 4th, 2005 03:49 am (UTC)
I am pinning my televisions hopes on Boston Legal. I enjoyed the Spader and Shatner team up in the last series of The Practice, and hope that they can make it work. No doubt I will be disappointed sooner or later.

As for Lost, I find it frustrating, but watch it regardless.
benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)
i'm actually thinking of trying BOSTON LEGAL because of shatner. i don't know what's happened to me, but i'm totally into shatner now. every ad i've seen him in with it looks absolutely cool.
ironed_orchid
Jun. 4th, 2005 05:11 am (UTC)
I'm mostly there for the Spader. I never ever liked The Practice, but the bf had started watching it and the Spader and Shatner dynamic was pretty funny.
benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 05:17 am (UTC)
you know, i do like spader. i think he's an interesting actor.

hmm. yeah, i think i'll have to give boston legal a go. who knows what will become of me?
ex_benpayne119
Jun. 4th, 2005 05:30 am (UTC)
I'll watch it. I liked the last season of The Practice. I just hope Kelley doesn't tip the balance too much toward comedy, so we get another Ally McBeal (shudders)...

benpeek
Jun. 4th, 2005 10:54 am (UTC)
ew. that's almost turning me off, that is.
girliejones
Jun. 5th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC)
Shatner is the new cool.

PLus the last season of The Practice was good only because of him and Spader. Boston Legal should be good. and hey! New show, not forensics.
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