Who do you call to buy an island?
The question has been sitting in the back of my head since Marlon Brando's death. He had an island--I'm pretty sure it was only the one, but still, that's more islands than I have. I remember hearing that that Edward de Bono had an island, as did Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke (I imagine the island went to whoever had the kids (did they have kids?) as it seems a bit unfair to deprive kids an island), and after Brando's death, I red that Johnny Depp was buying himself one. I figure that, reading between the lines, he could be buying Brando's island, but that's pure speculation on my part. I kind of like the idea, however, that there are all these Hollywood stars waiting for the Old Boys to kick it so that they can slap some cash down on their islands.
Which leads to the question: is there a real estate agency for islands?
Do you get the number, call them up, and say, "Hi. I'm looking to buy myself an island. Sort of like a retirement island."
"Certainly," replies the smooth voice from the other side. "Do you want a tropical kind of island?"
"Definitely a beach island is what I'm thinking, here."
"We have some lovely beach islands."
"Ah, yeah, look don't take this the wrong way--"
"--Cool, cool, but, ah, look, Brando is, uh, dead, now, and um, I'm wondering just--just, y'know what is happening to that island."
Do they have island garage sales for recently deceased owners? If I go Brando's island, will I find his stuff out the front on some old wooden tables, and a cardboard sign with the words Island Sale, Everything Under $10 above them? Can I paw through some tables and come back with the suit he wore in the Godfather? Is there an open island time, perhaps on a Saturday between nine and three, where I can have a look around, poke at the sand, see the condition of the dock that my boat will pull up against, and maybe meet the island neighbours?
I have all these important questions about island buying etiquette, good prices, what to look out for in beach and land conditions, but I don't know where to get the answers from. It's like this is for a select elite community out there with an obscene amount of money, and who don't want me and mates to pool some cash, put a deposit down on one, and start our own little country.
It's quite the disgrace, really.
Well, far be it from me to indulge in the conspiracy that there is a bunch of rich people conspiring to keep me from owning an island. thanks to adriennelily I've learnt that there are, indeed, islands out there that you can buy, and websites that list them. And I'll be fucked if there isn't afford island purchasing out there: in Japan, for example, you can purchase the Kusa Island for a USD 255, 000, which, I think, we'll all agree is a fairly affordable amount. And yeah, okay, it doesn't have electricity and water, but having that ruins the true island experience... and I bet a could even get a loan from my bank--well, maybe not me and maybe not from my bank, but someone with a lot more respect and with a bank not so morally corrupt could really stand a good chance.
It does appear, however, that if you want to live on your island, you have to have a fair chunk of case, and Marlon Brando's corpse stashed in your closet to take to the real estate meetings for credibility, but still, there's a downside to every market.
Check the comments for links.