June 21st, 2010


Conspiracies Aren't Just for Late Nights

I watched the Australia and Ghana game with Cas, who is not, by any stretch, a football fan. Still, he had a scarf, probably purchased for another sport he follows (he has many). Since Australia played pretty poorly against Germany, I was not feeling overly optimistic about the game against Ghana, but they scored early, and then ten minutes later had their front man sent off in an iffy red card on the penalty line. There's been a lot of talk about it, and while people suggest Australia could have won easily with Kewell still on the field, who is to say. The horns blew. The apocalypse hinted at looked to be particularly Australian. Cas said, "See, this is exactly what I was talking about. The refs are against us. We're what Fifa refers to as a developing nation, and they don't like our brand of football, man. We're too rough."

I wondered if the Australian fans would riot. That would be pretty cool. "I think you're making this shit up, man. Why would anyone bother to be against Australia? I mean, seriously, we're the holiday destination of the world."

"It's fucking true. Did you see that trip Ghana did? That was a clear red card, but what the dude get? Nothing, man, nothing."

I couldn't really argue with that, but mostly, I didn't bother because he was in full spin. A conspiracy for every sport, a theory for every occasion. I was starting to think that Cas ought to write a book called The Conspiracies in Sport, All of Them True.

For the most part, I was willing to overlook such conspiracy talk, and to be honest, I don't really give it any thought. However, I must admit, I was surprised to be flipping channels the next night, and coming across Santo, Sam and Ed's Cup Fever having a conversation with an ex Australian football star about the very same conspiracy. And I was like, seriously? Seriously? But maybe it's just me. I've just never really had any time for conspiracies, though I do like to hear a particularly good one--the Moon Landing Was Fake is a particular favourite of mine, but just as I find that one particularly funny, there are others that bore me, such as George Bush Organised 9/11 and JFK Was Not Killed By the US Government. My mind just wanders once people begin going on about them.

See, right now, I think that The Moon Landing Was Fake would make a great band name, or even a short story.

I should write that down.