December 23rd, 2008


No, Really?


My neighbour just raked my lawn.

I have this big tree out the front, and come summer, it sheds bark. Leave it for a day and there's bark on the lawn. After about a week you mow the lawn and the bark. Maybe it's not the best solution, but it's the one I have, and it's clean enough, and overall, I don't really give a shit. Some people go crazy over this kind of stuff, but me, I recognise the tree needs to shed its bark, and the tree and me and the yard, we all recognise that I don't honestly care about if some random driving in my street sees bark. Maybe they'll think, hey, that big gum tree is shedding bark; who knows. But tomorrow, my neighbour must be having a Persian Prince and Princess for lunch, because she, and her mother--an elderly woman who has never spoken to me--and her daughter--a teenage girl who, also, has never spoken to me--are out there raking it. Have, in fact, raked it. They are pushing a pile of leaves out of the gutter and into the drain pipe as I write this.

Until recently, my neighbours never spoke to me. Now, however, they know I teach, write, and have a doctorate. When I told them the last, they shook my hand, like it was some thing to be proud of. I only mentioned it because they have a teenage daughter, and I figured I might pick up some easy work one day.

Apparently, though, it also means my lawn gets raked.

Who knew?


Spreading the Cheer

Merry Christmas, everyone--

Pope Benedict XVI has said that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

He explained that defending God's creation is not limited to saving the environment, but also protecting man from self-destruction.

The pope was delivering his end-of-year address to senior Vatican staff.

His words, later released to the media, emphasised his total rejection of gender theory.

Pope Benedict XVI warned that gender theory blurs the distinction between male and female and could thus lead to the "self-destruction" of the human race.

--God hates you.