November 19th, 2008


A Bit of Seagalogy, Youtube Style

This is early Steven Seagal:

You'll note the accent, the slimness, the breaking of teeth.

It comes from a film called Out for Justice, which I've seen, but don't remember much of. Anyhow, in the grand scheme of things, I give a nod to the use of a cue ball and whatever cloth he has there to break teeth.

Below is Steven Seagal now:

This is from a film called Kill Switch, which I haven't seen and, y'know, probably won't. I don't think I could survive that accent.

Reportedly, in later films, Seagal has taken to having his voice dubbed, because--I'm making the leap here--he's barely understandable in his mumbling on camera. Maybe he's actually doing this voice, but I'm not sure if this makes it better, or if this makes it worse. However, there is a moment in which he breaks some dude's teeth rather impressively, so despite the weight gain, the accent--have I mentioned that enough?--and all that, we know it's still the same Seagal.

Watching videos of the later films is rather like watching this awesome wreck in which no one gets hurt, and everyone walks away fine, and you say, "Fuck, you are lucky you are not dead," and then the same dude does it again, just to prove it wasn't a trick. Clips from later Seagal films seem to suggest that he shouldn't be acting, that he's lucky to have this film, but there he is, again and again, and even in interviews where he is misquoted and said to be claiming to be God (he is claiming all sentient beings are Gods, at least that's how I took it). Of course, in the same interview he's also claiming to be clairvoyant. Maybe he is. Who knows.