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July 6th, 2007

Transformers: The Message Within



I finally figured out what Transformers was about.

Giant transforming robots?


Dude.

I'm talking about the message of the film.

All sentient life deserves to live and not be squashed by giant robots?


Dude.

What?


Did we even watch the same fucking film?

Apparently not.

You're not going to tell me it was pro-democratic, pro-military, and pro-Bush, are you?


...

Well?


What am, like a fucking retard?

Mentally disabled, please.


You and your fucking political correctness. Do you--

It's better than being fucking impolite.


--Do you want to hear what the film is about?

...


Well?

I'm thinking.

This might be a kinda fucked up insight. Like the original Predator being soft core gay porn.

Okay.

Okay.

Hit me.


Giant robots help you pick up girls.

Giant--


Giant robots help you pick up girls.

Wow.


It's pretty fucking amazing, isn't it?

You came up with this all by yourself, did you?


After the third viewing, it just kinda hit me.

Third?


I was just kinda watching. I was thinking, how does that weedy fucking kid get the girl? I mean, what's he got? He's got fucking nothing. I'm as good looking as him, yet I'm single, but what's he got?

A script?


A robot.

How about Michael Bay?


You're not paying attention.

See, until he gets robots, he can't pick up that girl. But he gets robots that turn into cars, and suddenly, she's holding his hand, getting involved in fucking battles, they're making out--and, and thing here, is the film is telling you, that if you want to pick up a girl, you need a giant fucking robot to help you get through the awkward stages.

A giant fucking robot will help you pick up girls?


That's the message of the film.

Is that why we're standing in an electronics store?


No, man.

Oh.


It's just fucking film. I'm not going to try and make my own fucking robot that transforms.

That'd be fucking retarded.

Overland Sale

Jeff Sparrow has purchased my story, 'Excerpts from Books 50 Years From Now' for Overland.

It will appear in a special Against Reality issue, which, from what I hear, will also include interviews with Kim Stanley Robinson, China Mieville, and Justine Larbalestier. Don't go quoting me on that, though, since I'm remembering conversations with Rjurik Davidson off the top of my head.

At any rate, that will bring the year's total of short fiction up to five originals, and two reprints. I don't imagine there will be more appearing this year, and anything I sell from this point will appear next year, because publishing is that slow. Next year, I imagine, won't be anywhere near this number, since I'm spending most of my time this year writing Across the Seven Continents of the Underworld, and I've nothing new written, but, with that said, you never know. At any rate, five original shorts published within a year is about the most that I can manage and that's plenty fine by me.