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June 6th, 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and it was rubbish. I want my fifteen bucks back.

The film is an instructional video for bad choices and missed opportunities and what kind of impact they will have on your work. I could spend my time going through each of them and pointing out how characterisation is broken, plot devices are tacked on, cameos are stupid, and resolution fails, but instead, I'll limit myself to just say that, if, in your final battle, you have two navies preparing for an epic battle, a pissed off goddess, and various subplots to tie up... well, a whirlpool and three ships fighting while everyone else sits on the horizon is not just a missed opportunity, but a criminal lack of imagination, and you should be working in Disneyland behind a counter for the pittance that is paid there, not making films.

There.

That was a lot quicker that previous reviews, wasn't it?