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May 18th, 2007

There has been some controvery about this statue of Mary Jane, Peter Parker's (Spiderman's) girlfriend:

Now, now, before you get all caught up in something, I have something very, very important to tell you: "If you're upset she's not portraying MJ like Dunst in the movies... then you obviously have no idea who the MJ character really is. She's a supermodel, not some whiny waive thin tone deaf little girl. She's supposed to be stacked."

See, if you're offended by this, especially if, like, you're a woman, and you think this is a piece of sexist trash designed by men who have not spent much time around women--or, like, real women--and would not consider how a statue of Mary Jane bent over a washing machine like she wants to be fucked from behind, all the while flashing her pink little g-string, and breasts to anyone who comes by the window as offensive... well, you just don't understand. You lack a sense of humour. She is, after all, not bent over waiting to be fucked--or hand washing Spiderman's uniform, as some of you might have originally thought--she's finding it in the laundry. Because, you know, she's just happened to pass the laundry, and isn't at all going to do the laundry, because to suggest that the girlfriend of Spiderman is good only to do the laundry is, you know, kinda sexist. But no. She's just... passed it. On the way, perhaps, to her supermodel engagements. Perhaps where she is going to model lingerie. Certainly she's not off somewhere she'll be treated like an object and merely an appendage to the male hero that she dutifully remains faithful too, which is perhaps the power of her pink little g-string.

Yes, there's nothing wrong here, folks. If you think there is, you've obviously lost your sense of humour. You're obviously not used to seeing the funny side of yet another moment where the American comics industry creates a wank statue. Statue porn for everyone, I say.