December 17th, 2006


Just Some Weird Shit (Sunday Nite On the Spot Free Fiction)

What's your blood type?

We did it based on blood.



Why blood type?

We ate all the straws.

What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done (on purpose)?

Taken from BBC News, 12/4/03:

"Throw a knife. Catch a bullet. Dodge a cannon ball. Is there anything that Ben Peek can do?

"Well, I thought about all that shit, you know?" Peek said, sitting on the edge of Bondi Beach. "I even considered swimming the English Channel, but then I found out that you get a cage for that now, and I thought, really, what's the point?"

Indeed, many people do ask, what is the point of the Australian? A complete unknown, with no immediate talents or ability, he found the number to a BBC reporter and gave it a call. He said that he was a retired circus performer about to enter the Russian space program, where he hoped to walk on the moon. But the truth was not this, and when the BBC did arrive, they found Peek sitting on a bench with an egg placed next to him. "Yeah, I liked," he said, "but would you have come out, otherwise? If I had said that what I had egg, would you have come?"

What was in the egg, you ask?

"The world. Our world. Everything we are is in here." Lifting his finger, Peek placed it against the shell. "Watch what happens when I flick it."

Why do you think people climb high mountains without supplemental oxygen?

I found the egg on the third week.

Was there anyone but you?

No, they were all gone.

All seven?


Did you--

I found the egg in the last one. It was in the skull, perfectly formed. Like a bird had laid it there.

Is your belly button an inny or an outy?

I had to take a little before the rescue team found me.

--Peek's Diary, March, '03.

How many fillings do you have in your teeth?

It was his smile everyone noticed, first. That slight, blade length hint of a smile. The teeth, you could tell, were strong, but yellow, the kind that tore through meat, the kind that did not rot, the kind that did not fail you, ever.

Freud or Jung or both full of shit?

I have to say--

I'm disturbed, I know. I need help.

I have to say, as a health care professional that this--this is really, really pathetic.


I mean, seriously, did you just rent Alive?

Well. Not, like, recently.

I mean, come on. Eating people. You're not getting a disability pension for this.


No, there's no free money here.



That sucks.

Get outta my office, and take this egg and this bag of teeth with you.

Come on, the teeth must be worth something. They're baby teeth.



Get out.

(And yes, those are the final questions in Ask A Question, Get An Answer. It's late, and that makes me laugh, for whatever reason.)
  • Current Music
    explosions in the sky