September 8th, 2006

benpeek

How to Write a Novel

Justine Larbalestier explained how she wrote a novel. Others followed. They are all wrong, however. Spreadsheets are not how you write a novel. Fucking horror of an idea that is. And typing? Typing is a secondary action, I assure you. It happens only after you've prepared yourself in the proper manner.

So.

This--

I mean this

--is all you need to write a novel:


  • Drugs.

  • Alcohol.

  • Nudity.



The ignorance of others bothers me, so please pass this around.

Thank you.

PS: Disclaimer: Do not try all three simultaneously. Over the day writing day, one must merge into the other. It is a progressive system.
benpeek

More Dead Icons

"Mr Stingray?"

He was still French, and villainous. I could hear a cat purring.

"Mr. Stingray, must we do this every time I call?"

Possibly, I thought, and flicked my tail in enjoyment. I told him otherwise.

"We have another job for you, Mr. Stingray. A driver. A race car driver called Peter Brock. The flies want it done. They have lost the last of their kind against his windshield."

I understood but--

"Yes, the ocean, we know. But you were so successful last time. We have faith, Mr. Stingray. Can you do it?"

I could.

"Merci."

I had final question.

"Colin Thiele, yes, that was one of mine. A personal one. I must admit, I did not know you would be so dramatic. No one has paid attention to the poison in him at all." A laugh. An evil laugh. "Finally."

Why?

"I fucking hated Storm Boy."
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