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May 26th, 2005

Virgin Speak (Overheard in Sydney)

Find anyone living in Sydney and ask them about CityRail, and they'll just bitch at you. This is because, for reasons that aren't quite clear, CityRail appears to be run by a midget fucked up on cocaine who maps out station stops and, if you believe them, pisses into the boots of train drivers before they get out of bed. There must be some truth to this, because since I've been coming to the Office for the last month, the ten o'clock train that I usually catch has not shown up on time once. Not once, I tell you. Today it was ten minutes late, yesterday eight, and the time before that it was simply canceled.

I'd give up on trains if petrol wasn't so much and I didn't overhear the best conversations on them. Today was so good that I've decided to make an entry out of it, something akin to that brilliant Overheard in New York site. The incident I'm talking about happened shortly after I got on the train, when two blond haired guys around the age of nineteen get on at the next stop, sit behind me, and start discussing what they are reading. One of them has a Philosophy book, the other one the final Hitchhiker's book. After that, Hitchhiker says, "Have you seen the new Star Wars film?"

"Yeah," replies Philosophy. "The acting was shit, but the characters were okay."

"Did you see what they did to Anakin? I felt sorry for him."

"But he killed all those kids!"

"They chopped off his legs--how's he going to fuck now?!"

It took all my restrain not to turn around and educate them, but I was aided in this by the fact that they kept talking about drinking, music, bad karaoke, getting stoned, and being up in Woolongong for all of it. The best part, however, came at the end when we stopped at the station where one of them had to get off, and they parted, saying, "Later, and may God be with you."