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February 25th, 2003

The Scorpion King.

i've seen the Scorpion King.

i saw it a long time ago, but it was shit.

not just a little shit, like the Mummy or the Mummy Returns, which had serious problems. (however, i maintain, that if you skip the first five minutes of the Mummy, it's an amazingly better film in which the plot unfolds the mystery of the ancient mummy, rather that simply repeat what you know from the start.) one of the problems, however, with the Scorpion King was that the somewhat evil warrior from the second film who gets turned into a monster, is nowhere to be found, and instead we have this nice, jolly, hacking assassin who rescues people and then is so liked by people (and the attractive psychic lady) that he takes over the kingdom.

and that's nothing compared to the shitness of the dialogue, the sets, the acting, the fights, and anything else i can think of.

the camel was shit too.

it wasn't the worse film i ever saw, certainly, and i even enjoyed some of that shitness at times (especially when it looked like i wasn't going to be able to self combust half way through it) but it certainly was a shit film.