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An Open Letter

Dear Jon Bon Jovi,

I am writing to you with a proposal that I think you will find most engaging. It concerns one of your earlier songs, 'You Give Love a Bad Name' from the mid nineteen eighties, and the lyrics that are contained within, specifically the chorus:

'Shot through the heart
You're to blame
You give love a bad name'


After heated discussion in my household, a consensus was reached today that the song would be greatly improved if one line was changed to, 'Shot in the ass'. The decision took in many, many hours of heated debate on how best to retain the original tune of the song, and to maintain the original film clip, which I have included below. As you might imagine, changing the lyrics of the song will give your music a different emphasis, but it was felt that not only was this the right thing to do to broaden your audience, but that it would promote homosexual relationships, and that given your already considerable wealth of you and your bad, that you could donate the proceeds from this re-released and recorded song to promoting equal rights and same sex marriage amongst gay men and women. It is, as I am sure you will agree, an important issue, one that society should simply address as an equal rights issue, admit that it is deserving, and move on. Now, I write to you as a straight man whose life will not be changed either way by this change in society, but as your intelligence is at least in keeping with mine by the evidence of this delightful tune that you have written, I am sure you will see no need to correct me.

In an effort to aid you, I have included the full, updated lyrics below, and the aforementioned video clip.

Shot in the ass and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love a bad name

An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free

Oh! You're a loaded gun, yeah
Oh! There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot in the ass and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
Hey, you give love a bad name

Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

Whoa! You're a loaded gun
Whoa! There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot in the ass and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
You give love, oh!

Oh! Shot in the ass and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)

Shot in the ass and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)

You give love
You give love
(Bad name)
You give love
You give love
(Bad name)

You give love
You give love
(Bad name)
You give love
You give love


Comments

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Daniel Cassar
Mar. 28th, 2011 03:56 pm (UTC)
Blasmethy dude blasmethy, all be it an amusing form of blasmethy but blasmethy none the less.
benpeek
Mar. 29th, 2011 12:45 am (UTC)
you know you'd buy an album of 'shot in the ass'
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