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Escape Plans (Day Two)

Escape Plans

Day Two




So, I saw this video today--

Those moments are private.


I saw a video today of Wall Street. In the video, they had Darth Vader and some Storm Troopers sitting up the front of the exchange, and ringing the day or some shit like that.

Seriously?


It kind of blew my mind. I mean, here was the focal point of our capitalist empire, and on the days before Christmas, they had Darth Vader come in, perhaps the most well known villain in our society, to ring the fucking day in.

Think it was an ironic statement?


One can only hope, but--

But?


But given our current situation, I can't help but think that the irony is a little lost.

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Christmas eve shopping. We ought to fucking know better.

Like all these people in front of us.


We all ought to know fucking better.

You know what we should do?

We should start a business.


What's your brilliant plan this time?

Christmas Reminders.


Like, remind people to go to the store and buy presents?

And a tree.


And some wrapping paper.

And some beer.


That's a dumb idea.

No, no--it's genius.

We're here, right now, standing amongst all these people. These over worked, angry people who are swamped with disease, and swamping each other with the diseases that they have. Look at them, holding cans of Coke, eating bad fast food, breathing in air that is polluted by the thousands of them, all packed together, trying to find a bargain.


I think I need to wash myself.

It's a hassle. It's a hassle we shouldn't be involved in.


Fuck yeah. We should have used the internet for this stuff.

We put posters here.

And here.

Right where this ad is, we put a poster, telling people that we offer them a wide range of holiday services.


I thought it was just about Christmas?

We can branch out.

We would have too.

We would remind people about birthdays, public holidays, religious moments--the whole lot. We would remind them, and then, for a polite fee, we would have our staff go out and buy the presents and the items that they needed for this holiday.


That sounds we'd be living in perpetual holiday moment.

In the start.


It sounds awful.

Hear me out, hear me out--


I've heard your crazy idea. The last thing I want to do is subject myself to this kind of behaviour all year round.

But we would have staff after we got off the ground, and they could do all the work for us, while me and you owned islands in which we would never have to deal with another person, ever again.


Islands?

Capitalist free islands.


So... like, we'd be free?

It's genius.

Motherfucking genius.


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Jesus Christ.

You realise that everyone around us heard your plan.


...


That little old lady, she has a note pad. I think she wrote it down.

I--


That kid! That kid has a fucking phone! He recorded the whole thing!

I--


And there's a whole family over there! How will we fucking deal with eight of them! One of them has a t-shirt that says he knows Kung-Fu! What if it's true! We'll never stop them!

I--I just can't you anywhere, can I?


Shit! The dogs in the pet store! They're a threat!

Fuck you, man.


Haha.

Live in poverty you fucking bastard.


As long as I have a bucket I'll be fine.



(The 12 Days of Xmas. Day two. One day left!)

(crossposted)

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