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A Question of Taste (Day 7)

A Question of Taste

Day Seven.



Hey.

Hey, man. You're here early.


Yeah, I wanted to talk to you before my shift starts. Catch you before practice tomorrow night.

Yeah?


Yeah.

Well?


It's just--this is difficult to bring up, man.

Did you find out my girl was cheating or something?


No, no, it's about the band, man.

I think it's doing well. I think our album will be sweet as.


I totally agree. I think our album is going to be fucking awesome, and I think going to well, but... Well.

This is getting awkward.


I think we might need a new band name.

What?


It's just--I don't want to start a fight or nothing but--

Fuck you, man. I love our fucking name. I'm not fucking changing it. I mean, you even tried to bring this up with Brad and Mick?


No, no, cause they came up with the name, and I'm just--I think it might alienate some people.

What. The. Fuck.


It's just, some people, most chicks, man, mostly chicks--they might find--

There is nothing wrong with Cum Stained Panties.


...

Nothing.


...

Nothing.


Okay.

We're a punk band!


Do you see Cum Stained Panties in this store?

What?


Here me out, okay? I got a fucking point.

I love our band. I think its awesome, but take a look round this store, man. There is no way a band called Cum Stained Panties would be sold in here.


This is a fucking Target.


Target will sell anything popular.

We are not getting a major fucking record deal, dude. Fucking grow up.


I am.

You wanna be fifty and working for fucking Target?


...


Think about it.

Think about the fucking future.

We have fucking kick ass album. We got a good live rep.

But if we keep going this way, we're just going to keep building an audience for Cum Stained Panties, and its going to have a ceiling on it, man.


You should never have done that fucking business course.


Dude.

Fuck you, man. We're punk. We're suppose to be insulting.


We could be--we could be a little more sly about it, man. This is what I'm saying. Insulting, but still in a position where our band name is presenting an image that we aren't, which is that we're not for chicks.

Chicks dig us.


Dude, have you seen our audience?

...


...

...

A little bit more sly, huh?


Suicide.

What?


This is my idea, man. I need you to support me on this, but yeah, this is my theory. I'm taking it to you first because I think you'll understand more than Brad and Mick. Those two are smacked out of their mind half the time and they're not the future of the bad.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.


Dude, lets be honest, if they don't clean themselves up...

...


Look, I'm not saying get rid of them, I'm just saying we could change a little. Have a future that isn't Target.

How's suicide come into this?


Celebrity suicide.

What?


A lot of celebrities kill themselves. Pills, shotguns, cars, all that kinda shit. If we can tap into that feel, man, that energy that surrounds dead celebrities, we'll be able to reach an audience that better suits us, and one that has a longer life span. I mean, what's the one thing people go shit over? The lives of celebrities.

I kinda see it.


I thought you would.

What's your proposed change then?


Ready?

Just fucking tell me, man. It better be fucking brilliant--I grew up with those guys, I'm going to need something real convincing to make me change.


The Courtney Love Conspiracy.

...

Kurt Cobain?


Yeah, people say that his--

I've heard it, fuck you, man. I am not fucking selling out with some pandering to pop culture bullshit.


Don't--don't fucking say that, man.

Fuck you!

Cum Stained Panties forever!


Shit!

...

Oh, fuck.


See, this is my point, you asshole.

Fuck you. Eight year old girls are not our target audience.


Well, when we start looking for new work tomorrow, perhaps you can try children's parties and branch out.



(The 12 Days of Christmas has entered Day Seven. Yesterday, Tansy said the entry was romantic. Hi, Tansy.)

(crossposted)

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cassiphone
Dec. 19th, 2009 11:54 am (UTC)
Hahaha I totally thought halfway through that the dude was going to suggest killing off the other band members and faking their suicides to make the band more popular. Hell of a business plan :D

So apparently you HAVE mellowed.

The invisible eight year old girl is a masterful piece of characterisation, I think I have the expression on her face burned into my brain...
benpeek
Dec. 19th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
Hahaha I totally thought halfway through that the dude was going to suggest killing off the other band members and faking their suicides to make the band more popular. Hell of a business plan :D

that's totally what we call being predictable ;p
shadowsandice
Dec. 19th, 2009 11:59 am (UTC)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
underdogautopsy
Dec. 19th, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
Terrific.
ashamel
Dec. 19th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
At least the merchandise is sorted.
benpeek
Dec. 19th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
haha
simplykathryn
Dec. 22nd, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)
You've been listening to the Fuck Buttons haven't you? :)
benpeek
Dec. 22nd, 2009 08:35 am (UTC)
lol. i've never heard of them.
simplykathryn
Dec. 22nd, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
They have fun music, and I quite enjoy it, but whenever I hear them I think 'They really don't actually want to be popular do they? I mean, they'll never get played on 'regular' radio with a name like that!' I have satellite radio in my car, which is where I hear them. There's another band with a similar name, but I can't remember it currently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck_Buttons

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