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The Past | The Previous

This morning, I got a knock on the door. When I opened it, I found a solid guy in his late fifties, dressed in a dark grey suit, and holding a leaflet.

"Thanks for coming to the door," he said.

"Sure," I replied.

"I'd just like to invite you to a seminar we're giving."

Now, usually, I just say no, thanks, and leave it at that, but for no particular reason I could put my finger on, I took the flyer. As soon as it was handed to me, I knew I had done the right thing, for across the top were the words, "How Can You Survive the End of the World?"

Beneath it was written, "You are warmly invited to come and listen to the answer." Well, neat, I thought. The end of the world is coming. I'm in the fame of mind for that. I figure there will be fire. The ground will open up. Planes fall from the sky. The world, as you and I know it, says fuck you all. Of course, the leaflet I had been given by the now departed man, had a white guy in a yellow shirt leading his daughter (who wears a bonnet) and his red haired wife, standing in a green meadow, people following behind them. They're heading towards the light, leaving behind the story, just as the white and black people behind them. There's no Asian people, or Indian people, mind you, but I suppose when the sky turns black and everything goes bad, there has to be someone for these well dressed men and women to wave at when they head out of town.

On the back of the leaflet, there was a huge collection of people, and dates for the convention, which, no prizes if you guessed it, was behind held by the Jehovah's Witness people. For a moment, I considered going--surely, I thought, it would be good for me to learn how to watch for Jehovah's Day, and at the very least, I might find it amusing. I could spare a couple of hours for that.

Yeah.

Well.

Apparently learning to survive the end of the world is a three day symposium, held at the Acer Arena in Homebush Bay. Now, in case you don't jump that link, Acer Arena is known for being the place that people like Pink and monster trucks go to when they have to put a show on, and usually designates that quite a few people will be there. The Jehovah's Witness people, it seems, think that surviving the end of the world will bring in the same crowds as Pink being hit by a monster truck (tell me you wouldn't go and see it) and do so for three days. Which, hey, it might just do so, what do I know? I mean, I didn't even think that there were that many Jehovah's Witness people in Sydney.

I've not yet decided if I won't go out and check it for a laugh, but since it runs from 9.20 to 4.55 on each of those days, I suspect laziness and not giving a fuck will get the better of me, but you never know.

(crossposted)

Comments

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catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:49 am (UTC)
Jesus, that's tempting.
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:56 am (UTC)
innit?

i tell myself it'll just be boring discussions of whatever it that they read, but...
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:58 am (UTC)
... but imagine yourself utterly surrounded by folks who believe that shit. The energy. the vibe. the freak factor.
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:58 am (UTC)
i know, i know...
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
My 6X novella story contains a scene set at a large pentacostal gathering. I had to write it from painstakingly gleaned tidbits of research. Now I'm thinking damn, if I'd gone to this first, how much better my scene might be!!!
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
just never a huge religious event about the end of the world around when you need it, huh?
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC)
yeah. Bummer.
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)
i'm half tempted to go--it's on next friday, sat and sun. if i drift in for one day (or a bit), i'll let you know.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
yeah please do.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
this weekend or the one after? I checked the Acer site but can't see a mention.
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:19 am (UTC)
the flyer says the 14th, 15th, 16th.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:21 am (UTC)
Bugger -- I'll be in Melbourne all 3 days. Was gonna suggest we make a day out of it.
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:22 am (UTC)
bugger indeed.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:22 am (UTC)
I could have packed a picnic lunch & everything!
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:24 am (UTC)
lol.

that would've been kind've awesome.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:25 am (UTC)
yeah, now I'm disappointed. I could have worn a floral frock... AND A BONNET!!!
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:27 am (UTC)
and i could've been black!
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:30 am (UTC)
we would have fitted in so well
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:31 am (UTC)
i would've waved at those asians and indians. 'you're off to hell,' i would have said. 'my black ass is safe.'
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:31 am (UTC)
sigh
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:33 am (UTC)
heheh.
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:41 am (UTC)
by the way, right now I'm at work producing a book on pandemics and communicable diseases... apparently you're supposed to stockpile spam and baked beans if the cross species germs get outta control...
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:47 am (UTC)
maybe dying ain't so bad, huh?
catsparx
Aug. 6th, 2009 05:49 am (UTC)
that's what I figure
ashamel
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:58 am (UTC)
Do you get your money back if the world ends first?
benpeek
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:58 am (UTC)
its free.
ironed_orchid
Aug. 6th, 2009 11:00 am (UTC)
I dare you to raise your hand and ask about dealing with zombies.
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