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Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen

Well, I thought that was alright.

Yeah, I got no complaints.


I got a few.

Yeah?


I'm not going to write a list or anything.

I seen people writing them lists. They think Michael Bay raped them.


Michael Bay?

Yeah, man, they say the plot isn't as good.


The plot of the first film was that giant robots help you get hot girls.

Yeah, I honestly can't tell you what the plot of the first film was. I think it was giant robots crash on Earth, intergalactic war, and why isn't John Turturro the star of this film?


The plot of the new film isn't even that different. Giant robots help you keep your hot girl. I wish I had a giant robot.

And John Turturro is still not the star.


What else are people complaining about?

Let me check the list.


You have a list with you?

I was kind've hoping you didn't like it and I could go through the check list, saying what a tool you were, and how you were like everyone else. Unless I hated it, in which case I was just going to tick off the ones I agreed with.


You need a hobby.

Okay, how about the racism?


As a hobby?

No, in the film. Those twin robots, Mudflap and Skids.


They're racist?

They are, I quote here, stereotypical representations of a negative African American image in which black men look a little like gorillas, have buck teeth, one of which is gold, big earns, and cannot read nor write.


Why don't they just say they're a negative representation of British royalty?

Cause they don't sound British, I guess.


Well, I don't give a shit about this one. There's real issues of racism to be addressed in the world. Turn on the TV, see the white people. Look at the way prose doesn't describe white skin, just leaves it as natural, Steven Spielberg's portrayal of Germans... the green and blue robot twins in Transformers is pretty low on my needs to be addressed list for the representations of race.

You got that list on you?


Why?

I'm going through a bit of a list moment.


What else you got?

The dangling balls on Devastator.


Yeah, I laughed there too.

People hated that.


Really?

The dog fucking scene, too.


Look, if you stayed after the dog fucking scene, complaining about the giant dangling balls of a giant robot that John Turturro was forced to gaze upon is somewhat redundant.

There's also some feel that the characterisation--


Okay, okay, that's enough. Gimme that list.

It's my list!


It's gone.

I'll make another one.


Fine, just what's the point of these complaints? The first Transformers film wasn't art by any means--it just didn't suck, which given the standards of films lately, makes it seem like high fucking art, but it wasn't that at all. It was just this amusing, expensive waste of time about giant robots and a guy who wants a girl. The characterisation was minor, the action scenes nothing special, and the giant robots giant. This one felt the same to me. A lot of money that could've gone towards giving people, I dunno, medicine, or water, or something like that; but it kept me entertained enough and it was what you could expect from a director who made Bad Boys, the Island, and all those other expensive, stupid films he's made. You're getting what you're getting with him so why bother complaining? He's what we made him, and his film is what society has made films into: dumb, expensive pieces of rubbish with giant robot balls bashing together in some eight year olds attempt of humour.

Complaining is useless. Just enjoy the ride. You made it.

You've so changed. Where's the anger? The fire? The art?


Are we even talking about art?

No one else does.


Then I think we should just leave the building.

(crossposted)

Comments

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ext_135212
Jun. 29th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
http://io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie?skyline=true&s=i

You should read this article I found, which very persuasively argues that this movie IS in fact an art film! Great stuff ;)

ext_135212
Jun. 29th, 2009 04:58 am (UTC)
...and apologies, I can't do links
benpeek
Jun. 29th, 2009 05:00 am (UTC)
yeah, no. i just don't care enough to read that whole piece :)
mastadge
Jun. 29th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
You should. It's more entertaining than the movie -- and I didn't even hate the movie!
benpeek
Jun. 30th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
i tried, but to me, it's just this piece about making something that's nothing into something. maybe it's got a point further or maybe it gets better, but it's on line with the people who say dr who is useful and interesting. i'm just not there for it, i guess.
jody_macgregor
Jun. 29th, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
I went for some expensive explosions and cheap gags and I got both.
benpeek
Jun. 30th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)
yeah, pretty much.
lucius_t
Jun. 30th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
I wept.

Edited at 2009-06-30 09:35 pm (UTC)
benpeek
Jul. 1st, 2009 01:25 am (UTC)
tears of joy, i am sure ;)
lucius_t
Jul. 1st, 2009 01:43 am (UTC)
joy and pain and tedium...and the greatest of these is tedium...
catsparx
Jun. 30th, 2009 01:47 am (UTC)
Heh
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