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Yes?


Yeah, hi.

You have a party here last night?

We had prayers.


Right.

It was a religious prayer night.


I don't really care.

Seems, however, that one of your prayer buddies has run over my water metre and broken it.

You might be able to hear the spraying?

I don't know what you're talking about.


My water metre is broken.

Guy from next door tells me one of the people from your party last night ran over it.

Oh, I don't know about that. There was fifty people here last night.


Yeah, well, I don't care. What I'm telling you is that I have to get someone out to fix this now, and that's going to cost me money, and that bill is yours.

You can't make me pay it.


That's exactly what I'm going to do.

I didn't--

Look, I don't think this is true. We're neighbours. If I saw your water main broken, I'd tell you.


A neighbour did tell me.

And--let me have a look here.


...

...


...

Well. If you were. If you were an educated man of any kind--


If I were educated man?

Yes. If you were educated in any way.


This'll be good.

If you were an educated man in any way, you would realise you're being quite ridiculous to blame me. My water main is not far from yours, and anyone who drove over yours would drive over mine--


I could drive my car over yours and mine quite separately, right now.

And added to that, why would someone drive on the sidewalk like that? An educated man would see that that didn't make sense.


Still with the educated man stuff.

Well, if you were--


In experience people are stupid in all kinds of ways.

I will ring the people from last night--there was a lot of them, and they were all adults, no children, and I will ring and I will ask, who did this silly thing? Who did?


You do that. You can give them the bill if you want.

You can't blame me.


That's exactly what I'm doing. It was your party, your people. You told me about it at the time, this might have gone different. Mightn't have gotten woken up by my neighbour to tell me about it. Mightn't have decided you deserved a bill. Shit happens, y'know?

Look--I will, I will call them.


You do that.

Yes, I will. I can't continue this conversation. I'm sick. I've been very ill.


You look hung over.

...


...

I have to go now.


Fine.

Comments

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coppervale
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
Holy Crap, Ben.


...


I mean that. Literally.
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
yeah, i felt like telling her i liked the pop music from her prayers, but i was kinda annoyed, y'know.

still am.

gonna take three or four hours for the water board to come out.
ldragoon
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
Ugh, what a douche! Aren't neighbors FUN?! The one thing I made my husband promise when we got married is that someday we will live in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere I can have a shot gun and a lot of barbed wire.
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
it's kinda like i have the good neighbour and the bad neighbour on either side. blah.
ldragoon
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)
I'm in the same boat. On the one side: wonderful, polite Russian immigrant family. I LOVE THEM!!! On the other side: crazy, pot-smoking, drinking-to-much, doesn't-take-care-of-their-animals dirtwads. Gah.
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
this family is the unhappy indian family that scream at each other a lot. i heard her once talking in english how she wanted to leave him but he wouldn't let her. i think i had a bit of sympathy for her, then.

but y'know, busted water main. plus, that time i caught her tossing fucking junk mail on my yard.
ldragoon
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
Gah. Man, it's like they don't get what the word "community" means. Glargh. Sorry you've got to put up with this. :( The worst bad community story I ever heard was one for this article I wrote for Sequential Tart - this guy planted a wonderful, completely water-free yard of native plants. His snooty neighbors decided they didn't like his "messy-looking" yard and actually were able to successfully drive him out of the neighborhood by taking out liens against his house. It was crazy. Assholes are everywhere, I guess. :(
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
well, that sucks. people. they're a fucking chore.
shadowsandice
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
: [

Hope you get more sleep and less broken water main tonight.
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
the party didn't actually bother me at all. it was loud, but i just put some music on, chilled, went to bed and slept like usual. the only thing that i paid any vague attention to was the voices outside my place round one in the morning, but, like, i didn't pay THAT much attention...

should have, apparently.
shadowsandice
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
Nah, this way, you can make her do all the running and panicking.
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:14 am (UTC)
well, sydney water has just been out and fixed it. told me that they'd just list it as vandalised, so there'd be no need for arguments.

i said i'd already done that part :)
shadowsandice
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
Haha! Best of both worlds.

I think you need to play music real loud today. While there are hangovers.
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:30 am (UTC)
i always play music loud. i'm surprised they haven't complained. heh.
shadowsandice
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:34 am (UTC)
THEY PRAY FOR YOUR SOUL AND YOUR HEATHEN TASTE IN MUSIC.
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)
well, i suppose it's nice someone is praying for me ;)
shadowsandice
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
Oh hey, nothing wrong with heathen taste in music. They can take your water main, but they'll never take..STAAAAAAAAAARSAAAAAAAAILOOOOOOOR!!!!!
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
you love me so much. i know it.
shadowsandice
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:18 am (UTC)
^_____^
porphyre
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
benpeek
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
yeah, i saw that a few days back, and got kinda annoyed by it. must be my week for irritation :)
lucius_t
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:06 am (UTC)
you question a woman's lie about breaking a water main when you're her, you're liable to get plugged, stranger...esp. if you got a funny accent. :)

Congrats, BTW, on the times deal.
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
i got no fear, man. no lies get freedom from me. 'specially if they be prayer lies. you know how it makes muhammad cry.

and thanks. it should be cool.
lucius_t
Oct. 27th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)
if you were an educated man, you'd have joined them in prayer.
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC)
haha.

ah, fuck, man, i'm going to be saying, 'if you were an educated man' all day now :)
lucius_t
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
when you're over here, I meant to say.
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:10 pm (UTC)
nah. she weren't the type for that kind of thing. mother with kids and all.
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:18 pm (UTC)
yeah, it's cool. the waterboard came out and fixed it--said they'd write it off as vandalism so i wouldn't get charged. so we're all good, though my relationship with the neighbours is somewhat strained i guess.

no biggee.
crookfactory
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC)
Geez, I'm surprised that dealing with the water board is easier than dealing with your neighbour. Usually dealing with water board and co are a pain in the ass.

I somehow sense an A Current Affair/Today Tonight/trashy journalism story here about feuding neighbours!
benpeek
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)
the waterboard were really good, actually. they were there in forty minutes, fixed it in ten, and super polite. i was very pleased with everything from their side.

i plan to buy some fake tatts for the fueding neighbours bit.
sarahlangan
Oct. 27th, 2007 04:57 pm (UTC)
Lame neighbors!
(Anonymous)
Oct. 28th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
Sounds like they were celebrating the Sharad Poonam. An Hindu/Indian festival.

Among other things, it's a night for couples to dance under the full moon and improve their love.

Did you not feel it? :-)

A Passerby
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