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"You're really a writer?"

I am standing in a bar in Newtown. L's birthday.

"Yeah. It's not that fascinating, though. What do you--"

L introduced me to her friends as a writer.

"But you get books published!"

It's taking a while to move beyond that.

"Seriously, it's not that cool. There's no money, no beautiful people--it's just egotistical authors."

The girl in front of me laughs.

"And I say that--I say that 'cause I'm a fucking egotistical author. I'm the fucking worse. I can't even be friends with an author. You're not an author are you?"

"No," she says. "I'm just, y'know--"

"A cosmonaut?"

She laughs, places a hand on my arm. "You're pretty funny."

"I have my moments."

It's going well now. Not talking about being an author and the down and out reality of that (and the inevitable, "What do you write?" kind of questions, which lately I explain with, "Weird things."). Anyhow, I'm able to relax a little, and I do, trying to ignore the shit music playing in the background, and I note that there's no smoking inside the bar. All the smokers are going outside. When did that begin to happen? I haven't been locked up for that long. In fact, when was the last time I saw someone smoking inside a bar?

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

Fuck the smokers.

"Me? No. You?"

"I'm married."

She holds up her hand and, yes, sure enough, there's a ring. It looks like most rings to me.

"Who you married to?"

"Over there." She points to the guy talking to L. "Five years now."

"So, how come you're asking if I'm single then?"

"I work at a dating agency."

This is really not going in any direction I thought it would.

"I help people find people, y'know? What do you look for in a girl?"

"I like them to be nice to me."

She laughs. "No, I mean, do you like tall girls, short girls? Asian? Indian? White? Tell me what you look for. I'll help you out. For free. No cost. You can meet a nice girl, you know?"

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"I've never had a girl try to pick me up for her dating agency before."

Comments

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catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
so did she set you up for a date?
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:25 am (UTC)
nah, i declined. it's not really my scene. she later told me that the goal of girls at this place are to get married--they're all looking for husbands and shit.
catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)
Fair enough. Interesting that she pegged you as solid husband material though, hey!
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
yeah, i dunno what was going on there. ah well. i'm sure another dating agency will approach me ;)
catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
Hmmm... maybe I can start pimping you to dating agencies?
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
will we make money?
catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:34 am (UTC)
we? whats this we business? I'm the pimp. I'll make the money!
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:34 am (UTC)
you gotta look after your ho!
catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
you'll get a new beanie every winter and all the warcrack you can handle.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
an' a new crackpipe! that other one is broke!
catsparx
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC)
deal!
buymeaclue
Jun. 18th, 2007 12:00 pm (UTC)
Writers are all rich, you know!
catsparx
Jun. 19th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
oops, yes, silly me, I'd forgotten that!
porphyre
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
aech, as if there's nothing worse in the world?
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
i've never understood it myself.
porphyre
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC)
Which, the desire to marry? Or the desire to FIND someone TO marry?

It's the second one which seems a wee bit too societal to be legit, personally. I'd marry my current fellow in a heart-beat.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:41 am (UTC)
it's the second one. going out there to find someone to marry. kinda feels like the wrong end goal for me.

i've nothing against marriage, but also, i've not exactly got anything for it, either. maybe it's just cause i got no one worth thinking about it for.
porphyre
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
People seem to have some funny bugs in their head over the whole concept of "dying alone".
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
we're all dying alone. doesn't matter if you got someone beside you--it's all your experience.

though i suppose it would be easier with someone beside you.
porphyre
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:53 am (UTC)
That's the reasoning I was given when I asked someone why they wanted to find someone to get married to. Personally, I would like to hook up with mine in a more permanent fashion under-the-law so things like visiting the states would be easier. It's true there's more to it, but I accuse myself of being too young.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:15 am (UTC)
i know people who have gotten married younger than you. i figure it's just one of those things you do whenyou think you ought to.
porphyre
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
and how successful did that little foray go? I've managed to be in one long-term live-together marriage-relationship so far, that exploded spectacularly after a few years, but at the time, I'm sure it felt like it would go on forever.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
the people i know who got married young? fifty fifty. some are still at it. some are not.

nothing ever feels like it'll last forever to me.
the_flea_king
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
Best post I've read all evening. I wish more interesting things would happen to people whose journals I read.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
yeah, i'm lucky like this ;)
tigersmeleth_86
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)
My mother has been driving me up the wall for the past twenty minutes, and my business powerpoint the hour before that.

Thank you soooooooo much for this post, it made my day much better!
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:14 am (UTC)
you're welcome :)
noodles_morgyn
Jun. 18th, 2007 10:47 am (UTC)
I second this post, if you replace "business" with "English". :P
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 10:52 am (UTC)
well, perhaps if you didn't have three jobs it wouldn't be so stressful :P
noodles_morgyn
Jun. 20th, 2007 05:54 am (UTC)
Well... I... uh... shush!
(Anonymous)
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:42 am (UTC)
Odds are good that you'll at least have sex a few times before you die...and you'll probably fall in love too.

Pretty much happens to most everyone eventually.

And on that happy note I see that Wheatland Press has another buy one at $19.95 and get one free sale going on until June 30th.

---factory farmer
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 04:52 am (UTC)
shit, i must have missed that post. thanks ff. i'll link it tomorrow.
deborahlive
Jun. 18th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I sneaked it in there before I left for the weekend.

Now I see that I should be offering a free date with you...but in order to not make you feel, you know, cheap or something, I'll make it a free date with the purchase of two books.

You're worth two books, I think.

No, no, no. No need to thank me. Really.

(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 05:01 am (UTC)
oh, yeah, that'll work out well for me for sure ;)
kazzibee
Jun. 18th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
clearly this woman is a vampire! her behaviour reminds me of people who sell amway.

i think you should avoid persons such as herself and meet yourself a noice loidy.

ya cunt!


heehee

benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
yeah, well, i didn't nae take her up on her offer.

you want to hear something funny? i just got a bit of spam on the old cunt entry. it says, 'you need drugs?'
kazzibee
Jun. 18th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC)
wow that was ages ago.

these spam people really work hard for their dolla!
ironed_orchid
Jun. 18th, 2007 05:46 am (UTC)
Man, writers are the worst. The only people worse than writers are musicians.
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
nah, actors trump both.
ironed_orchid
Jun. 18th, 2007 06:13 am (UTC)
You are so right.
buymeaclue
Jun. 18th, 2007 12:02 pm (UTC)
>no beautiful people

Speak for yourself, m'dear. ;)
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 12:31 pm (UTC)
now who's living in denial ;P
buymeaclue
Jun. 18th, 2007 01:26 pm (UTC)
Lalala I can't heeeaaar youuuu!
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
DENIAL!
ex_chrisbil
Jun. 18th, 2007 01:45 pm (UTC)
That's amusing. Haha. In fact, reminds me...

Saturday:
Lucie: "Chris, honey, you're smart, you're funny, you've got a great job... you're ticking all the boxes darling! *to friend* And he writes"
Me: "I don't write anything sellable."
Lucie: "Well, I'm just saying. If I wasn't taken, things would b..."
Me *interrupting*: "The night we met you were single."
Lucie: "Well..."
benpeek
Jun. 18th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
it was the great job. they're always a downside.
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