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One Line Reviews.

One of my favourite things to do is read the reviews at Free SF Reader (run, it seems, by bluetyson). They're succinct, pared back, funny as fuck, and the best of them aren't more than a line. For example, 'The Grief Doll', written by Lily Chrywenstrom, is referred to as, "Dead woman, toy has advice. Three out of five." Margo Lanagan's award winning, much loved 'Singing My Sister Down' is, "Execution by tar pit, with ceremony. Two and a half out of five." Paul Haines 'Malik Rising' is "Drugged whacko angel wannabes. Three and a half out of five."

Indeed, you read enough of them, and a certain poetry begins to emerge.

I'm there twice, first for 'Johnny Cash', which is described as, "Presidential demons, and those that have to clean up after them. Four out of five." And second for 'Cigarettes and Roses', which is described as, "Two people are being paid to transport the corpse of a fake saint. For a dead body, it seems to have a strange smell, and things go plenty bad. Three out of five." There is even another site, Not Free SF Reader, for fiction that's not free online, and 'Dream of a Russian Princess' is described as as, "Dead girl. Dull. Two out of five."

Sheer. Poetry.

I love 'em. I want more. Blue, you need review copies?

Free SF Reader
Not Free SF Reader
Australian SF Reader

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Comments

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chrisbarnes
May. 7th, 2007 05:50 am (UTC)
You checked the related Not Free SF site? There's some more reviews there of your stuff, I think. I got this for my recent ASIM story:

Sweet Potato Woman - Chris Barnes

Fantasy - A potato sends a man a message.

3.5 out of 5


Love it!
benpeek
May. 7th, 2007 05:53 am (UTC)
oh, i didn't know about the others. 'dead girl, dull' haha
benpeek
May. 7th, 2007 06:03 am (UTC)
fixed for all three sites now.
catsparx
May. 7th, 2007 06:33 am (UTC)
I reckon this dude has invented a whole new art form!

Love this one for Kaaron's The Softening: Death is bad for architecture.

I don't think he should call himself Blue Tyson & use Terry's book cover for his icon though. People may assume the dude is actually Terry Dowling, which he is not.
benpeek
May. 7th, 2007 07:17 am (UTC)
i think you'd have to be pretty dense to think the dude was dowling, even with the name and cover. it's pretty obvious he's just a dude who likes to read.

a lot, by the looks of it.
lyndarama
May. 7th, 2007 08:38 am (UTC)
From www.IMDB.com:

Rick Polito of the Marin Independent Journal printed in Northern California is locally famous for his droll, single-sentence summations of television programs and movies which the newspaper reports will be broadcast. For the Wizard of Oz, he wrote, "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again."

A bit more verbose, but the same idea...
catsparx
May. 7th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC)
classic!
benpeek
May. 7th, 2007 09:03 am (UTC)
yeah, i knew there was a dude doing it with films.
bluetyson
May. 8th, 2007 08:53 am (UTC)
Yeah, that is pretty funny. :)
deborahlive
May. 7th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
I'll send him review copies of anything I've done if he wants them. Have him contact me.
benpeek
May. 8th, 2007 12:31 am (UTC)
bluuuue? are you paying attention?!
bluetyson
May. 8th, 2007 08:32 am (UTC)
Hi Ben, I just came across this, sorry. :)

If you have more stuff, people, I am happy to read it, by all means. You can email me at aussievamp2@gmail.com or I will email you if you have one listed online if you like, wheatland and others.

What Ben said, just a guy who likes to read. I picked that username, as you do, when people I got tired of the old one I had used for years, actually before I started doing this. Anyone that isn't Australian won't have any idea what it means, as opposed to gurus like you lot. :) I am geeky enough to have all three editions of Rynosseross. It was just a fan thing, using the logo.

Cat, if you reckon its bad, I could change it, or put a disclaimer. 'I am not, and never will be a good SF writer. Unlike Terry Dowling, who is not me, and has never exchanged a word.'?

Also, if anyone has other stuff online that I don't know about, you could let me know? If you look at the very bottom right of Australian SF Reader there is a list of stuff that is online, broken down by the sections in the blog, Awards, big anthologies, and 'other'. I just came across a few mp3s at oleo of some horror by Rob Hood and others. For oz people that is.

I come across them occasionally as I look at people's websites - Leigh Blackmore's today, for one thing.
benpeek
May. 8th, 2007 11:28 am (UTC)
maybe you could put a disclaimer up, if you wanted. but i tend to think it's fairly obvious that you're not terry dowling--terry's reviews are at least five hundred words ;)
bluetyson
May. 8th, 2007 12:18 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I imagine the media overlords demand X output still, when you do those things, as well as the publisher cronies.

I wouldn't want to do a few thousand times 500 that is for sure! :)
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