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Today's Insightful Moments

"Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Excuse number one for beating your kid: The Bible says it's okay.

I was sitting in the Doctor's Office this morning. I hauled myself over there after I woke up with what felt like a lump in my throat, after having gone through work the day before in a haze of sneezing, fever, and some kind of awareness of my surroundings. I ended up going to work in a friend's car because I couldn't start my own. I remember thinking, 'It's so easy to speed in this car,' and then I was at work. Strangely, I remember having a conversation with a girl who was eleven (or was she turning eleven?) and she was telling me that there was nothing wrong with gay people. 'You can't help how you're born,' she said, and then she asked me if I was emo. Still, I liked the kid. I hope she didn't infect me. Kids are disease bags and if she infected me, it'll be sad when I drown her in a sack.

Where am I? Oh, yes. The Doctor's Office. It's like about nine thirty, but the Doctor is late, so there's a line of retirees sitting there in shirts and shorts. The AC is on. I begin to freeze. They old folk talk about camper vans. They talk about feeling old. They talk about how the outback of Australia is dry, and how after the rain, you can see kangaroos appear to drink frantically out of the puddles. The secretary asks them if they're cold. I think ice is forming in my veins. I begin to say, 'Fuck yes, it's fucking cold,' but the olds say, 'No, No, not at all,' and so I shiver and keep my mouth shut. Fucking old people are superheated. Later, it turns out I'm running a fever. Can't be as bad as yesterday, since I got my car started. The lump in my throat turns out to be what the doctor cheerfully refers to as Some of the Most Swollen Tonsils She's Ever Seen. If only I could take a picture. But she gave me drugs and I went and found some more.

The Bible quote came from one of the olds. I felt like hurling something at him. My head, perhaps. If you're for hitting kids, just say you're for it. Don't use to the Bible as your excuse. Just say it's how you think you should discipline kids. The little disease bags infected me. I can get behind some beatings.

Comments

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(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 12:00 pm (UTC)
why is it that everyone tells me to get into religious arguments with people? i couldn't quote this stuff off the top of my head without memorising the whole book...
catsparx
Sep. 25th, 2006 07:53 am (UTC)
and don't forget the bit about people who eat shellfish being put to death. Being a prawn lover, thats the main line keeping me away from Christianity.
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 11:58 am (UTC)
really? shellfish?
ex_chrisbil
Sep. 25th, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
I'll remember to use my hatred of shellfish in my appeals at the pearly gates!

Man, my own brother-in-law pulled the "maybe you'd better trust in God on this one" on me when trying to get me to not quit working with him, and stay back from New York.

I had a good time in New York!
catsparx
Sep. 25th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
I think there's a bit in the old testament about being killed for wearing cotton and wool at the same time too. Must have been rough in the fashion industry back then...
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
that old testament is hardcore... but on the other hand, cotton AND wool. i mean,c ome on...
(Anonymous)
Sep. 25th, 2006 08:01 am (UTC)
And remember to kill witches. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live, I think it goes.

So many people to stone, so little time.
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 11:48 am (UTC)
i wonder if you can buy packets of stones. nice round ones, to bludgeon, and nice sharp ones to cut...
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 11:47 am (UTC)
man, it must be the sheer amount of drugs i've taken today, but that kinda makes sense.
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
haha. you know what's funny, when i read this, gmail came up with this 'manipulator' link, and so i went and read it. the eighteen signs of a sociopath!

http://www.takebackyourheart.com/

you'll get a laugh.
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 11:46 am (UTC)
i have, like, not worn black nail polish for over two years.
mattdoyle
Sep. 25th, 2006 01:08 pm (UTC)
Emo is a disease, and a very annoying one at that...I have no problem with emo kids getting spanked! ;)
lyndarama
Sep. 25th, 2006 01:12 pm (UTC)
Sign me up; if there's going to be a good old-fashioned emo-belting, I wanna be there.

I have no bible verses to quote for you.

Get well soon Ben.

benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
ohmygod, someone finally noticed i was sick!
lyndarama
Sep. 25th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
Lol: everyone was too distracted by the religious references. I on the other hand, am not. :-)
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
i'm sure emo kids like getting spanked ;)
claredudman
Sep. 25th, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC)
Emo?
I'm going to regret asking this, I know, but what's 'emo' please?
lyndarama
Sep. 25th, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Emo?
This http://lyndahawryluk.livejournal.com/?skip=20#item51433 is hardly a comprehensive survey, but there are a few less subjective opinions than mine in the links...
claredudman
Sep. 25th, 2006 09:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Emo?
Thank you lyndahawryluk - just had a brief look because I have to go to bed now...but how exciting - not just the disputed Wikipedia entry, but after just a cursory glance through your notes I think I may well have one of those in the room next door. I shall report back in a few days.
benpeek
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Emo?
lynda's kinda emo herself, so don't think she's aga'n it ;)

anyhow, to me, emo is sort of the hybrid culture of goth and grunge. wear a lot of black, and you'll get asked if you're it, really. though i do like some of the music.
(Anonymous)
Sep. 26th, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
yep
you are emo,

Mr Wu
benpeek
Sep. 26th, 2006 06:06 am (UTC)
Re: yep
says the king of emo
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