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1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?


Who designs these things?

What?


These. These memes. Who designs this shit. Why not ask if I've ever been to prison.

You ever been?


To prison?

Yeah.


No.

Searched by cops?


Couple of times.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?


Why'd they search you?


Second question now.

This is just going to be a bunch of shallow answers, isn't it?


Yeah, like all memes and blogs are meaningful.

So...


I don't really ride rollercoasters. I'm neurotic and phobia driven.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?


This meme was designed by an American, wasn't it?


Yeah.

You know, in his last interview, Graham Greene claimed that America was fast becoming the dictatorship of the world.


You don't say?

Totally.


Fucking Americans. Just like them to think that everyone sleds.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?


See, this question, this question is clearly about sex.

It's clearly asking you if you have sex, yes.


So, answer one way, and everyone thinks you're a nymphomaniac--

Or they're just getting a cheap thrill.


--And answer another, you're a cold fish.

Your choice.


I don't get the obsession here.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?


And this one is just about the guilt of sex.


What?

No, seriously, if you believe in ghosts, I reckon you have an unreasonable guilt over some of the things you do in the privacy of your own home. Like you're worried that someone is watching you dress up as politicians and get spanked for bad foreign policies.


...

What?

Dude, that snapshot of your life was just not needed.


6. Do you consider yourself creative?


Hahaha.


What?

That's just too egomanical for you to answer honestly.


7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?


See, now we're back to sex.

And race.


Yeah, that's true. You think a black person asks if you think OJ is guilty?

Only white people give a shit.


Some Asians might.

Still, it's a crime with an interracial sexuality about it, don't you think? I seem to remember someone making a big deal out of that. Probably everyone. A poor innocent white girl murdered by a savage black man.


Well, you've give this a lot of thought.

You haven't?


I don't give a fuck.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?


So...


Yeah?

Following that bit, why this girls both white?


9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?


See, it's not that they're white that bothers me, but the natural assumption that we will find these two extremes of white female image desirable. And that the white female is desirable. Why not the Asian female. The bl--


We're on a different question now.

Oh. Yeah. Your exs.


The answer is some.

10. Do you know how to play poker?


The one you played strip poke with?


Fuck you.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?


Hey, out of curiosity, how long you been awake now?


Right now?

Yeah.


About thirty two hours straight.

12. What's your favorite commercial?


I watched the Argentina and Germany match last night. By the time I got home it was five, or close too, and I had to work, so I just went, fuck it, and stayed awake.

So now?


Well, right now I am thinking about those History ads that they had for the Australian world cup team. They were pretty cool.

13. What are you allergic to?


Yeah, I liked those too. You know what I'm allergic to?


Nothing.

That's right.


That also means I'm talking to myself.

Again.


You know there are forty questions for this?

Really?


Yeah.

Shit.


I say we change form.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? And Can you answer the twenty six remaining questions in one sentence for each?


All the time. Yes to both. It do have secrets in me people don't know. I don't give a shit about baseball. I can't ice skate, though I've been. I don't often remember my dreams, and when I do, it's only the mundane ones. I laugh so much I cry often. I hate the Beatles. The thing on my mind is the chapbook Twenty Six Lies/One Truth and a couple o other things not up for discussion here. A ghetto ass barbie could possibly be a doll, but barbie isn't my thing. I wear a seatbelt. I use Optus. I like Sushi. I drive in Sydney so yes, I've missed few fatal accidents. I like to go naked. I stole clothes. About 11, though a 12, depending on who is measuring. I don't hate much, despite what people think. Neither. Still with sex, huh? I'd fuck Jesus. Or whoever your messiah is. I am listening to Shihad General Electric, but my favourite album of the moment is Bluebottle Kiss' Doubt Seeds. This will change. I am going over the one sentence per answer. Fuck. I sing in front of the mirror. I read. I fuck. I juggle. I draw on myself. I can't stand Beef Jerky, but I'm sure there's more. I sing in the shower. I narrate. I fuck. I juggle. I wash the lines off myself. I love my friends, so sure, of course I make fun of them. They do the same. I've stood up for people I don't know. Afterwards, I just hope they're not fuckers. And no, I have never been punched in the face, though I once hit someone else.

Well. That was easy, wasn't it.


I bet it doesn't make a lick of sense.

No, probably not.

Comments

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danjite
Jul. 1st, 2006 06:29 am (UTC)
There you go sculpting shit again and making something worthwhile.

(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Jul. 2nd, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
we offer no workers compensation here!
markdeniz
Jul. 1st, 2006 08:28 am (UTC)
Fantastic!

Nice to see another hater of the beatles in there too!
mariness
Jul. 1st, 2006 11:25 am (UTC)
You juggle?

This was part of that Russian cosmonaunt and spy training program, wasn't it?
benpeek
Jul. 2nd, 2006 03:44 am (UTC)
...suicide pill time.
buymeaclue
Jul. 1st, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
Beautiful!
ex_chrisbil
Jul. 1st, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
Brilliant stuff!
bodhichitta0
Jul. 1st, 2006 11:36 pm (UTC)
But do you juggle in front of the mirror naked? Or sing in the shower in front of the mirror naked? I'm so confused! :-p And Jesus? Really? You just struck me as so het. *giggles*

benpeek
Jul. 2nd, 2006 03:44 am (UTC)
well, really, if i'm gonna be gay, i'm gonna be gay in style.
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