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Hilton Phone Book.

Did everyone get a look at Paris Hilton's phone book a couple of days ago? I did. It was pretty boring, and I kept thinking those pictures of Paris making out with a girl were fake, but that's just me.

Anyhow, this is what she said: "I feel horrible that, once again, someone has invaded my privacy. I want to apologise to all my friends and family. I don't know why this stuff always happens to me, but I wish it wouldn't anymore."

I don't know, could it be possibly because no one likes you? Because you're nothing more than a spoilt little brat who was born into wealth and is now spending her life in parties with drugs and booze and clothes that most of us can't afford to look at? Could it be that you're a vacuous little fuck of a girl?

Could it be, I dunno, that your face is being forced into my fucking mind and scarring it just because you're rich and fuck unimaginatively?

Might be.

Anyhow, I wish I had the ability to hack Hilton's phone. I'd do it. Then I'd call Lindsay Lohan and pretend to be her drunk and abusive father and demand naked photos of her, again.

Lohan, by the way, had this to say: "It's crazy. I even got an email from someone pretending to be Hugh Hefner."

It's tough being rich and famous, isn't it?




(quote source)

Comments

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girliejones
Feb. 24th, 2005 05:16 am (UTC)
Yo! You stole my snark.

Its hard to feel sorry for someone who's main objective in life is to get this exact publicity.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 05:20 am (UTC)
i got no sympathy for her. none. she's a useless waste of space. she insults me on every level of my life.

hopefully, social ridicule will drive her to suicide.
girliejones
Feb. 24th, 2005 05:22 am (UTC)
Now that's not nice. I'm hanging out for the wash-up-used-to-be-a-celebrity-for doing-nothing-and-now-I'm hoping-for-a-comeback look. I expect lots of mutton dressed up as lamb shots, lots of cocaine induced embarrassing photos showing her underwear up her crack and wayyyy too much surgery on her face so we can tell our grandkids, "yeah she used to be ugly but she you can't really tell what she looked like from that, it was less of a newborn goat and more like...."
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 05:25 am (UTC)
no, i'll be happy with nothing less than her death. or, baring that, a law saying she can't appear in any for of media whatsoever.
girliejones
Feb. 24th, 2005 05:28 am (UTC)
We could campaign for the latter. You're on your own organising the former.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 06:49 am (UTC)
just like everyone else i know ;)
girliejones
Feb. 24th, 2005 06:55 am (UTC)
I have too much to do dude,
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
look, you could schedule it. you could make time. you just don't want too.
girliejones
Feb. 25th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
You're right, I really wish I wanted to, I just don't.
benpeek
Feb. 25th, 2005 05:03 am (UTC)
well, the next time you get the urge... maybe i won't be round.
girliejones
Feb. 25th, 2005 05:06 am (UTC)
I'll live with this potential remorse.
windswept
Feb. 24th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)
mutton dressed up as lamb

one of my favorite phrases ;^)
girliejones
Feb. 25th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
yet it still always makes me think of cranberry sauce
bug_girl75
Feb. 24th, 2005 07:27 am (UTC)
I have to agree with you... she is one annoying, spoiled little tart that needs a good kick in the arse!
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
cool, so, like, you're into the killing, yes? not going to wuss out on me like a certain other person?
bug_girl75
Feb. 24th, 2005 12:38 pm (UTC)
As long as it's long, slow and painful!! :)
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 12:50 pm (UTC)
well, yeah, of course. i mean, why bother if not making it slow and painful?
bug_girl75
Feb. 24th, 2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
*evil grin* Have you heard of Foamy... He did a rant about reality tv and the idea for a show where they grease up a naked Paris Hilton and chuck her over the fence of a maximum security prison!! ;)
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
heh.

reminds me of the bill hicks joke, where he comes up with a reality tv show where they hunt down celebrities that have tainted the public consciousness.
bug_girl75
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:05 pm (UTC)
Foamy rocks... not terribly PC, but he's damn funny!
bodhichitta0
Feb. 24th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC)
It just goes to show you, you really can buy anything in America. Paris Hilton has managed to buy herself some... fame? Is that what you can call it? I saw a trailer for a MOVIE she's in--she's bought her way into the MOVIES now. TV wasn't enough?. So much for the idea of a meritocracy... not that I ever really believed in one. But the mere fact I know her name disproves the theory.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 11:00 pm (UTC)
well, i mean, she's not the first. she won't be the last. but if something hideous would befall her... i'd be good.
jack_ryder
Feb. 24th, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
Just don't pay any more attention to her, it feeds her and makes her stronger, and soon her true form will emerge...
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 11:01 pm (UTC)
bah. i'd rather poison her.
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