?

Log in

No account? Create an account

The Past | The Previous

Seed of Chucky

I imagine that the letter to Jennifer Tilly went something like this.

Dear Jennifer,

Hi.

How you going?

Can I just say, I loved you
Bound. That's my favourite film in the erotic lesbian crime genre.

Anyhow, we're making a new Chucky film. Word is you really enjoyed the paycheck for
Bride of Chucky, so we want to offer you another one. We're going to call it Seed of Chucky, and naturally, we want you to return as Chucky's psycho doll girlfriend, Tiffany. But there's more this time. In fact, we want you to play yourself making a film about psychopathic Chucky and Tiffany dolls that go around killing people. We want you to play Tiffany. By that, I mean we want to dress you up to resemble the doll, so you can be a life sized version of that in the fake film within the real film.

That's just the start of the film. The real film, I mean. It centres mostly around Chucky and Tiffany discovering that they have a gender identity confused child (voiced by one of the Hobbits from
Lord of the Rings) and they want to give up and be good parents, so long as they can use a voodoo curse to put their minds in real flesh bodies. As part of this plot, you will, naturally, be subjected to the voodoo curse by being impregnated by the semen of Chucky, which Tiffany (voiced by you) will place inside Jennifer Tilly (the character, played by you) with something that might be a Turkey Baster.

We've also convinced John Waters to be in the film, under the condition that he'll get to take photos of Chucky jerking off, and say, "Bless the little people!"

A contract is attached for you to sign.

Yours,

Directors, Producers, ect.


In case you're thinking I'm making this shit up, I'm not.

Seedy of Chucky isn't a good film. I'm sure you're shocked by that. But frankly, it's so weird, and so over the goddamn top, and just so... odd, that it doesn't matter that it's not a good film. In addition, Jennifer Tilly's portrayal of a puking, Julia Roberts hating, egomaniac fading starlet is nothing but fun.

Comments

( 8 Soaking Up Bandwidth — Soak Up Bandwidth )
shadowsandice
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:44 am (UTC)
Errr...pass.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:53 am (UTC)
i guess that's what many folks are going to say. but it's pretty damn funny.
shadowsandice
Feb. 24th, 2005 02:04 am (UTC)
I haven't enough spare dosh to go spending money on....that.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
yeah, that's fair enough. see, i got paid yesterday for both my jobs, so i had money for... well, that.

but it gains nothing by being in a theatre. watch it in dvd.
jlassen
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:54 am (UTC)
Damn you. Now I want to actually SEE the weirdness that is SEED OF CHUCKY.
benpeek
Feb. 24th, 2005 01:58 am (UTC)
then my work here is done.
(Deleted comment)
benpeek
Feb. 25th, 2005 12:55 am (UTC)
yeah, the britney scene is in it, but there's no disclaimer. (in the credits britney is listed as a role with an actress playing her and everything.) i think everyone was aware that she wouldn't be in the film--though if she had been, i think i might've got a bit of respect for her.
( 8 Soaking Up Bandwidth — Soak Up Bandwidth )