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That Special Man.





It was a lot easier to find Jesus than you might think.

I was a bit surprised, I think, that no one asked me how I found Jesus. You all just took it for granted that I would ask for him and, seconds later, find that I've Jesus by my side, in clean robes and everything. I mean, come on, this is Jesus. He's a busy guy. He's got bills to pay, a place in Stanmore to look after, and a boyfriend to keep happy. You just don't ring the guy up and say, "You willing to do something for me? I can't pay you or anything like that, but it'll help me with a project I'm working on." Well, maybe it was me who thought it would be slightly more difficult. I'm a bit of a glass is half empty kind of guy. Truth is, Jesus offered to be there. That's because, if you haven't figured it out, Jesus is super cool and a giver. If you don't believe me, check out the books. There's a few. Jesus does a fine autograph, too, with little angels in the corner of his name.

Still, there were some people shocked to see Jesus out and walking around. I guess the truth is that Jesus is a bit on the fashionable side, and he knows that you really can't go out to your job in robes. That was fine a couple of thousand years ago, sure, bu it was the fashion then. Nowadays, Jesus likes a nice shirt, a haircut, and a clean shave. Still, when he stepped out onto the street with the classic Jesus wear, people were shocked. Within a minute, a car had slowed down and people were staring at him through the windows, their mouths open and eyes wide, their expressions coloured red by the brake lights.

They looked a little worried, if you ask me.

Comments

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deborahb
Feb. 17th, 2005 12:31 am (UTC)
They looked a little worried, if you ask me.

They were probably mostly worried about that scary looking guy with a camera who seeemed to be chasing Jesus.

"Do you think Jesus will be ok?"
"I dunno, hon, I smells me another cruxifiction comin' on..."
benpeek
Feb. 17th, 2005 01:14 am (UTC)
i'd never hurt my jesus.

unless, of course, it cause children to cry. i could go round to schools with jesus and we could reinact the whole cross business. and we could stick jesu up in the playground with a crown of thorns at lunch time. the kids could come up and say,

"Jesus, does that hurt?"

"Yes, child. He drove nails through me."

"Oh. Would you like a sandwich, Jesus?"

"No. Would you like to catch my blood?"

"I've only my juice container."

"Well, I didn't complain last time."
shadowsandice
Feb. 17th, 2005 02:42 am (UTC)
He's gatecrashing the party.
benpeek
Feb. 17th, 2005 03:05 am (UTC)
you've always been down on jesus, you have.
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