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One Sentence Review

When a character dies in Blade Trinity, the actor is released from the worse film of the year.

Comments

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joey_j0jo
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:55 pm (UTC)
=)
benpeek
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:55 pm (UTC)
so bad. so bad.

do you like my new look?
bodhichitta0
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:57 pm (UTC)
That bad, eh? I saw the first one and kind of enjoyed it. Very bloody though--even bloodier than your average vampire slasher flick, IMO.

(Love the Twain quote.)
benpeek
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:54 pm (UTC)
it's so bad. so very bad. i don't mind the first one, and i thought the second one was somewhat pointless, but had a few nice moments. but this is just trash. it's made for tv in that eighties way.
bodhichitta0
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:57 pm (UTC)
Won't be hard for me to miss then. One must feel bad for Wesley Snipes--he's no Denzel Washington or Russell Crowe, but he surely deserves a better vehicle than that.
nick_kaufmann
Dec. 30th, 2004 04:11 pm (UTC)
Wow, even worse than Resident Evil: Apocalypse? I didn't think anything could top that!
benpeek
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:53 pm (UTC)
i didn't seen that particular gem, but let me tell you, it doesn't even *look* like a film. it looks like some guy off the street found some film equipement, knew some of the stars, and made himself a film. it's so bad. the acting is awful. there is an actress called parker posey who plays one of the main bad guys... ohmygod, i know i can act better than that, man. no acting traing, never spoken a word of dialogue, but i swear i can perform better than her.

to make things worse, the film is about dracula.

after the film, i said, 'it's as if they gave ed wood a budget.'
benpeek
Jan. 1st, 2005 09:56 am (UTC)
my friends and i came up with a new quote for blade trinity last night:

'Blade Trinity has the performances and shooting techniques of porn.'
kixxa
Dec. 31st, 2004 12:25 am (UTC)
That reminds me of a one sentence review the Marx Bros. received when when they were touring a show.

The Marx Brothers in 'Home Again' should be.
benpeek
Jan. 1st, 2005 09:55 am (UTC)
my friends and i came up with a new quoteable review section for the film:

'Blade Trinity has the performances and shooting techniques of porn.'
kixxa
Jan. 1st, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
*laughs* You're starting to make me want to see it.
benpeek
Jan. 1st, 2005 10:27 pm (UTC)
seriously, it's not worth cinema money. wait to dvd and you can hire it. or wait for tv.
studebakerhawk
Jan. 1st, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
There are some true auters in the porn industry, not to mention camp icons, so lets not place the blame there. Also, parker Posey is a terrific actor but obviously caved at the promise of a massive paycheck ( seen any Hal hartley films? Do so.)

Like the new look, yes.

That big fucking spiky orb is meant to sit there and glow for a month? What the hell is that all about? I felt ripped off, but i was fairly buzzed at the time and almost had a bottle thrown at me. Grrr. Sydney needs a napalm enema.

How were your new years?
benpeek
Jan. 1st, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
well, okay, how about: it was like bad eighties porn?

now, parker posey might be a fine actor elsewhere, but i've no desire to even find out, as she blew big time in that film. with no acting ability whatsoever, i'm confident that in a short skirt and vampire teeth, i could've done that roll with more skill.

anyhow, i spent my new years fairly low key. fireworks have got a zero interest for me, so i just spent the night hanging with some of my friends, drinking and eating. was okay.
studebakerhawk
Jan. 2nd, 2005 04:32 am (UTC)
We want some guy with a rifle to shoot out the cord and let it plummet ito the ocean. I will film it.
benpeek
Jan. 2nd, 2005 06:41 am (UTC)
you didn't go and watch it, did you?
studebakerhawk
Jan. 2nd, 2005 08:19 am (UTC)
Yes, myself and friends sat around under the bridge drinking and paiting each others nails. We were sitting next to this great bunch of 16-17-ish year-olds, all semi-goth and we essentially joined forces and heckled the whole night. So apart from the crap fireworks, the whole thing was a plus.
benpeek
Jan. 2nd, 2005 11:07 am (UTC)
okay. i can't decide if you're talking about the film or the fireworks, but okay.

i saw the incredibles tonight, and it was neat. cute.
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